Jim Lauletta - Planet Hollywood

Season 2 , Ep 0225 05/26/93 Views: 1,745

How could Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone possibly run a restaurant together? (3:00)

Retired professionalwrestler, my dad.

Think it's cool havinga dad as a wrestler?

No, let me explain something.

No, no, no no, no!


One time he went to the bank.

You know what he did?

Started bouncingoff the bank ropes.

Ha ha ha!

I want a loan!

Dad, you suck.

You know that?

You really suck.

Please take off thetights, Lard Ass,

you don't even fitin them anymore.

The only cool part waswhen he spanked me,

he didn't really hit me.

The bank, my account,I'll do what I want!

You figure a bigmacho guy like my dad

would like Schwarzenegger.

Hates Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Hates him.

You know why?

You know why?

Because the only really time Ido Schwarzenegger, the voice,

around my dad, triesto tell me what to do,

throw the Schwarzeneggerat him, bam!

He's pissed off instantly.

One time he goes, hey why whydon't you go mow the lawn,

you're not doing anything.

Why don't you go mow the lawn.

[schwarzenegger accent]Why don't you go mow.

You do it.

It's your lawn mower.

You use it.

You, you, you paid for it.

You use it.

You paid for yourcar, you don't tell

me to use that,do you, Poopyhead?

Do you, Poopyhead?

I don't hear you!

[normal voice]What'd you call me?

Come here.You don't call me Poopyhead.

My house.

Admit it.

Only Scharzeneggercould say "Poopyhead"

and scare the crap out of you.

So like George Bush comeout, [george bush voice] Uh,

Poopyhead.[normal voice] Give me

a-- you're not the president.

Get outta here.

Schwarzenegger go "Poopyhead."

Aww, jeez, you want a drink?

Have a drink, Mr. Manwith a [inaudible]

You know he's business partners,you know, Planet Hollywood.

He and Stallone.

They're investorsat Planet Hollywood.

They're business partners.

How the hell are Stalloneand Schwarzenegger

going to communicate?

Think about it.

I can see Stallone walking outthe Schwarzenegger in the back.

[stallone accent sounds] Ithink we need more hot dogs.

[schwarzenegger voice]No, we need beer.

[stallone voice] Uh,that's good, that's good.

I understand that.

But also we need hot dogs.

[schwarzenegger voice]We need beer.

[stallone voice]We need hot dogs.

[schwarzenegger voice] Beer.

Listen to me, youdumb grease ball.

Two syllables.



Get your Hooked on Phonics.

Yeah, listen to me, writeit down, F-O-N-I-C-S.

Learn the language, Poopyhead.

[stallone sounds] I wantto drink the [inaudible].