Greg Fitzsimmons - Threesome

  • Season 10 , Ep 8
  • 03/16/2006
  • Views: 5,994

Greg tells his son to wrap up the breastfeeding. (2:07)

SHE BREAST-FED MY SON FOR TWO YEARS. AND THAT'S WRONG.

BREAST-FEEDING IS A BEAUTIFUL BONDING EXPERIENCE FOR WHAT,

LIKE SIX MONTHS? AND AFTER THAT IT'S LIKE,

OKAY, SOMEBODY'S[BLEEP]-BLOCKING DADDY.

- WRAP IT UP. - [LAUGHTER]

SHE GOES, "NO, THIS IS REALLY GOOD FOR HIS IMMUNE SYSTEM.

I SAID, "TWO YEARS?! I THINK AT THIS POINT,

"WE COULD SAFELY DUNK 'EM IN A BUCKET OF POLIO.

WRAP IT UP." BECAUSE IT PISSES YOU OFF.

THOSE ARE YOUR BREASTS.THAT'S ALL YOU GET.

YOU GET TWO. AND NOW YOU GET NONE

'CAUSE HE'S SUCKIN' ON 'EM. HE'S STARING AT YA.

- HE KNOWS YOU'RE PISSED. - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND THEN I CATCH 'EM WORKIN' THE HAND ON THE OTHER BREAST.

I'M LIKE, "WHAT IS THAT?"YOU DON'T NEED THE HAND

ON THE OTHER BREAST. WHAT IS IT?"

THEN HE'LL JUST PASS OUTLIKE A FRAT GUY ON A KEG. JUST.

- [SNORING] - [LAUGHTER]

IT'S PRETTY HARD TO BEROMANTIC WITH YOUR WIFE

WHEN EVERY TIMEYOU GO TO BED,

THERE'S YOUR SON PASSED OUT DRUNK ON TIT MILK.

[LAUGHTER]

SO WE GO TO BED ONE NIGHT, YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA HAVE SEX.

IT'S NOT GONNA BE GOOD BUT WE'RE GONNA DO IT.

HE'S LYING THERE LIKE A JUNKIE WITH THE 'GOT MILK' MUSTACHE.

I JUST ROLL 'EM OVER.WE GO TO THE OTHER SIDE.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE SEX.IT'S NOT GONNA BE GOOD.

WE'RE JUST GONNA MOVE REAL SLOW. TRY NOT TO WAKE 'EM.

WE'RE LIKE SEA TURTLES.

AFTER A WHILE I CLOSE MY EYES, I START GETTING INTO IT.

TWO MINUTES LATER I HEAR...[SUCKING]

HE WOKE UP AND STARTED BREAST FEEDING

WHILE WE WERE MAKING LOVE. WHICH IS SO WRONG.

'CAUSE I NEVER HAD A THREESOME BEFORE

AND THIS WAS NOT THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND HIS EYES OPEN UP. HE'S TRYING TO HIGH FIVE ME.

I'M LIKE, "HEY, SHOW SOME RESPECT FOR YOUR MOTHER."

[LAUGHTER]

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