Dave Attell - Insurance

Trilling, Daro, Attell Season 2, Ep 0221 05/20/1993 Views: 6,360

Dave has car insurance but no health insurance. (1:31)

I'm afraid ofgetting on the planes

with the terrorist guysgetting on, you know?

I don't know how theyget on the plane.

They've got to make reservationsover the phone, right?

Can't they tell the terroristswhen they're doing it?

I mean, really.

Hello?

I'd like to make a reservation.

Oh, no, one way.

[laughs]

My name?

Hold on, please.

[speaking in a fake language]

Oh, Joe, yes.

I'll spell that.

"J" as in jihad, "O" as inoverthrow the governments,

"E" as in explodeyankee dog-pigs, yes.

Here's a fun thing to do whenyou're flying, all right.

When the guy nextyou falls asleep,

put your life veston, your oxygen mask,

and yell, we're going down.

You'll definitely getthe armrest after that.

I'm telling you right now.

So that's the whole thing, man.

It doesn't really matterwhat happens here.

I'm always afraidof getting sick,

because I've got no healthinsurance, you know?

I've got car insurance, butI've got no health insurance.

Which sucks, becausewhenever I get really sick,

I have to get in my carand crash into things,

you know what I'm saying?

Careful on the way home,I'm getting a prescription.

So that's all I'm goingto tell you about.

I did get into acar accident once.

I don't whose fault it was.

I was doing 80, andthe other guy was 80.

So you really don't know.

But he thanked me and said thatit was the first bowl movement

he's had in like 20 years,so.