-I'm a big fan ofbathroom graffiti.
But I don't understand.
Like, usually it saysstuff like, "Boobies rock!"
You know, or whatever.
I'm like, that's cool.
You gotta have yourbeliefs, you know.
But I was hangingout in Aventura.
And I don't understand thegraffiti in the bathrooms
there at all, you know?
It says stuff like, "Hipreplacement surgery sucks."
"I miss my teeth." "GlennMiller is awesome."
I don't really get it.
It's good stuff, though.
I like to go to gaybars and pretend
I have no idea where I'm at.
And then I go up toevery fellow there,
and I say somethinglike, "Dude, you
have no idea how gayyou look right now."
When you're wearing DaisyDukes, it's kind of awkward.
I also like to goto a gym, and ask
people to spot meon a treadmill.
That's super fun.
They're always confused.
I'm like, "Look, dude.
Like, just, here's the net.
Let's go." and I put onmy cape and my helmet.
I talked to my financialadvisor this morning.
And he told me, Doug, youshould probably get some money.
He is really good.
I paid him with a subway coupon.
It was awesome.
That's the joke.
By a round of applause,anybody here ever wake
up in the morning, you'reputting on a pair of pants,
and you find, like,$5 in those pants?
Well, can I have it?
It's not a joke.
I'm just poor.
I bet the first Christmas afterJesus died was really awkward,
when Santa Claus showed upand everybody was like, boo!
Go home, All you fat bastard.
It's a desert.
Why are you wearing a coat?
Your reindeer are dead.
I feel sorry forblack men named Tom
that have nieces and nephews.
That's just awkward.
Explain it to yourneighbor, maybe.
Thank you, buddy.
The one person that got it.