Exclusive - Keep It 100 - Michael Ian Black vs. Sea Turtles

07/07/2016 Views: 910

The fate of civilization -- and 100 sea turtles -- is in Michael Ian Black's hands. (1:58)

- I'm here with Michael Ian Black

and it's time for the game I like to call

Keep It 100.

Keep It 100.

(laughter)

Michael, you know how this works.

- Yeah.

- You gotta keep your answer 100% real.

- [Michael] Yeah, yeah.

- You get one of these.

If not, weak tea.

Got it? - Got it.

- Oh, I love this one.

Okay. You wrote a funnypiece wanting to kill

endangered sea turtles

and use their lacquered shells

as snow sleds for your neglected children.

- That's right.

- Very funny.

If you knew it would stop Donald Trump

from becoming our next president,

would you slaughter 100 seaturtles on national television,

one at a time, by the way,

in your own FOX comedy special called,

"Trump for President. Oh Shell No."

(laughter)

Are you doing it?

- So it's 100 sea turtles,

- [Larry] 100 seaturtles. One at a time.

- Do we know what themethod of execution is?

- You gotta smash 'em.

(audience boos)

And Trump, no president,

once you get to the 100th.

- Um, hum.

And

my next question is,

- Um, hum.

- Can we remove Trump from the equation

and I just get to kill 100 sea turtles?

(laughter)

Or do we have toconnect this with Trump?

- We have to do it.

- My honest answer is,

- Um, hum.

- [Larry] Any time you have to say, "honest answer"

- Well, all right.

Now, if I don't do it.

If I don't do it.

(cheers and applause)

- Okay. Keep going.

- Does that guarantee that Trump will become president?

Or, is there still a chance

that Trump won't become president?

- Um, hum.

I'm sorry?

- Is there stilla chance Trump--

- Are you killing thefucking turtles or not?

- Yeah, I'm killing the turtles.

- You're killing them?

- I'll kill the turtles.

- All right. He's killing the turtles.

(cheers and applause)

He's killing the turtles.

He finally got around to it.

Here you get one of these, too.

You get both for killing them.

Michael Ian Black everybody.

(cheers and applause)