The Sklar Brothers - Lazy Writing

  • Season 14 , Ep 12
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 9,376

There's no way that Snow White and her prince could live happily after meeting under those circumstances. (2:19)

THEY DID THE ONE THINGTHAT WAS REALLY IMPORTANT.

THEY SPENT A LOT OF TIMEWITH US.

THEY WERE GENEROUSWITH THEIR TIME.

SO WE KIND OF HAVE PASSEDTHAT ON TO OUR KIDS.

AND MY 4-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER,

SHE LOVES WHEN I READ HERSTORIES EVERY NIGHT,

BUT HERE'S THE PROBLEM.

SHE WANTS THE SAME STORYEVERY NIGHT.

AND IT'S SO FRUSTRATING...

'CAUSE IT'S THE WORST STORYIN THE WORLD.

IT'S A FAIRY TALE --"SNOW WHITE."

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GUYSREMEMBER "SNOW WHITE."

IT'S HORRIBLE,LAZY WRITING.LAZY AS ALL GET OUT.

IF YOU DON'T REMEMBERTHE STORY --

HOT CHICK, QUEEN HATES HER,POISON APPLE.

SHE DIES IN THE FOREST,GLASS CASKET.

PRINCE KISSES HER.

THEY LIVEHAPPILY EVER AFTER.

EVERY TIME I READ "HAPPILYEVER AFTER," I GET SO MAD.

I'M LIKE,"HOW CAN THEY LIVE HAPPILY --"

WE'RE MARRIED, OKAY?WE UNDERSTAND THAT RELATIONSHIP.

THERE'S NO WAYTHEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER

AFTER MEETINGUNDER THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES.EXACTLY, RIGHT?

SO EVERY TIME I READ IT,

IT REINFORCES METO DO THIS IMPRESSION.

I'VE WORKED ONTHIS IMPRESSION.

WE'RE GONNA DO FOR YOU NOWSNOW WHITE AND HER HUSBAND

EIGHT MONTHSAFTER THEY'VE BEEN MARRIED

AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE.

HONEY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FORMAKING THE VEGGIE SAUSAGE LINKS.

THEY ARE STILL COOKINGRIGHT NOW.THEY ARE FANTASTIC.

I JUST WANTEDTO BRING SOMETHING UP,

SOMETHING THAT WE'VENEVER TALKED ABOUT,

SINCE WE'VE BEEN MARRIEDONLY EIGHT MONTHS.

BUT I GUESS WE SHOULDTALK ABOUT IT NOW,

BECAUSE WE HAVEAN OPEN TABLE HERE.

I'M VERY EXCITEDTO TALK ABOUT ISSUES.OPEN ISSUES.

I JUST WANT TO GO THROUGHYOUR THOUGHT PROCESS

THE DAY THAT WE MET.

GREAT. SHOULD WE JUST --LET'S DO THAT.

OKAY, YOU'RE RIDING ALONGIN THE FOREST.

ON MY HORSE, YES.YEAH.

YOU SEE A DEAD PERSONLYING THERE.

YES, A DEAD PERSON...

LYING IN A GLASS CASKET,

SURROUNDED BYA BUNCH OF MIDGETS.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT.YES, I DID.I SEE THAT.

YOU SEE THAT SCENE, YOUR FIRSTTHOUGHT -- FIRST THOUGHT --

"GONNA KISS THAT DEAD PERSON,"RIGHT?

"YEAH, YEAH. GONNAMAKE OUT WITH THE CORPSE."

THAT IS MY INITIAL THOUGHTWHEN I SEE THAT.

I GUESSWHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS

HOW MANY CORPSES DID YOU HOOK UPWITH BEFORE YOU GOT TO ME?

[ APPLAUSE ]

THAT DAY?ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THAT DAY?

YES, THAT DAY.

DOES FIVE SOUND LIKE A LOTFOR ONE DAY?

YES, FIVE SOUNDS LIKE A LOT.DID ANY OF THE CORPSES RISE UP?

NO, BUT I ROSE.OKAY.

AND IT'S SOMETHING WE NEEDTO TALK ABOUT IN THERAPY.

[ Chuckles ] OH.

IT'S A LITTLE FAIRY TALE

BASED ON NECROPHILIA.THAT'S LOVELY.

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

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