Jasper Redd - Hawaiian

  • Season 13 , Ep 5
  • 01/11/2009
  • Views: 16,839

Jasper wishes he was Hawaiian, and not just for the punch. (1:41)

DING, DING, DING, DING, DING!

"UH, I DON'T MEAN --

"I DON'T MEAN TO DISTURBTHE FEAST AND WHATNOT,

"BUT I NEED TO GET SOMETHINGOFF MY CHEST.

"MOM, DAD...

"GRANNY...

"I'M A NEGRO.

"ALL RIGHT?

"I'M -- YEAH.

"I'M TIRED OF SNEAKINGBEHIND Y'ALL BACK

AND PLAYING BASKETBALL."

[ LAUGHTER ]

"I NEED YOU TO ACCEPT MEFOR WHO I AM.

"I CAN'T PRETENDTO BE HAWAIIAN ANYMORE,

"EVEN THOUGH THIS WASA BOMB-ASS LUAU.

[ LAUGHTER ]

MAN, I ACTUALLY WISHI WAS HAWAIIAN.

YEAH, IT'S NOT JUST A JOKE,EVEN, YOU KNOW.

I WISH I WAS HAWAIIAN,FULL-BLOODED.

AND NOT JUST FOR THE PUNCH,EVEN THOUGH THAT'S A NICE PERK.

THAT PUNCH BE SLAMMIN'.

BUT I WANT TO BE HAWAIIAN'CAUSE I REALIZE,

WHEN IT COMES TO RACISM,

HAWAIIANS DON'T CATCH THE RACISTGRIEF LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.

YOU DON'T KNOW NOBODYWHO HATES A HAWAIIAN.

AIN'T NOBODY OUT IN THE SUBURBS,

PEEKING OUT THEY WINDOW LIKE,"WHAT THE HELL?"

[ LAUGHTER ]

"WHO'S THIS MOVING INWITH THESE FLOWER SHIRTS?

"HEY, PHILLIP, COME HERE, DAWG.

"THINK WE GOT SOME DAMNHAWAIIANS MOVING IN NEXT DOOR.

"BUNCH OF PINEAPPLE-EATINGMOTHER-- YEAH.

GET MY CLIPPERS."

[ IMITATES RAZOR BUZZING ]

[ LAUGHTER,CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

Loading...