Rick Corso - Career Criminal

Margaret Smith & Rick Corso Season 1, Ep 0159 02/24/1992 Views: 1,469

The seven-day waiting period only makes criminals angrier. (1:26)

ON THE WAY IN HERE,OUTSIDE THIS THEATER

A MERCEDES STATION WAGON.

WHAT A STUPID CAR.

IT'S LIKE HAVINGA ROLEX CLOCK RADIO.

( laughter )

GO TO THIS GUY'S HOUSE, HE'S GOTA BIG-SCREEN BLACK-AND-WHITE TV.

( laughter )

"I GOT THE BIG ONE."

FRIEND OF MINE HASA VERY SIMILAR STUPIDITY.

HE HAS THIS THINGTO STICK OVER HIS CAR RADIO

TO MAKE IT LOOKLIKE A CHEAP A.M.

THE THIEF WALKS BY--

"A.M.! I GUESS THAT'S STANDARDIN THESE LAMBORGHINIS.

LET'S GO TO THE NEXT CAR."

I GOT ONE OF THOSE RADIOSYOU PULL OUT.

YOU PULL IT OUT,SHUT THE CAR DOOR

THE THIEF GOES, "GIMME THAT--THANKS FOR TAKING IT OUT."

"OKAY, LET'S GOTO THE BANK MACHINE.

I NEED MONEY FOR SPEAKERS."

I LIKE THIS SEVEN-DAY-WAIT IDEAFOR THE GUNS.

THEY SAY IT'LL GIVETHE POTENTIAL KILLER

TIME TO COOL DOWN.

NO, IT WON'T, IT'LL JUSTPISS HIM OFF MORE.

"THAT'S FOR MAKING ME WAIT.

"NOW I'M GOING TO KILLTHE OTHER GUY.

ARE YOU STUPID?I'M CRANKY ALREADY."

THEY SAY IT'LL WEED OUTCAREER CRIMINALS

WHICH IS A WEIRD JUXTAPOSITION.

JUXTA... IT'S A WEIRD TERM.

SO... CAREER CRIMINAL--LIKE THE GUY PLANNED IT.

HE WENT TO HIS HIGH SCHOOLGUIDANCE COUNSELOR--

"LOOK, I'M NOT GOOD AT MATH

BUT I LOVE GUNSAND I'M A FAST RUNNER."

"TRY THESE PANTY HOSE ONYOUR HEAD, SEE IF THAT WORKS."

IT'S A CAREER.

I'M TIRED-- I WAS WOKEN UPLAST NIGHT BY A WRONG NUMBER.