- I'm a comic, I'm a born loser.
I lost a comedy show in prime time.
You think I give a (bleep) about losing the roast battle.
At least if I lose tonight, I lose to somebody
(bleep) funny for a change.
(tense hip hop music)
People go, oh you got it easy with Ms. Pat.
You take her on.
- Sure, he's gonna call me fat and I'm missing a nipple
cause I lost it in a drive by.
- I expect him to go after the fact that I look
like an 80s villain and I look like really white privilege.
- The obvious joke that I expect my opponent to make
about me is all of them.
I look disgusting.
I smell, my hands are sweaty.
- I'm Canadian.
Really not sure legally if I'm allowed to make fun
of a crippled child right now.
- He's like so nice.
That's kinda what scared me about battling him is like,
oh I can't be too meanto him cause then people
are just gonna think I'm an (bleep).
- I'll go after anything.
Unfortunately, this opponent that I'm taking on
in round one is so incredibly boring.
- I'm gonna go after your aborted kid, your dead mom,
you gay dad, whatever it takes.
- I think a good roast joke is honesty and timing.
- It's nice to have a good harsh joke with a great twist.
- A good roast joke is one that you don't see coming.
- Quick, mean, and clever.
- There's a fine line between going dark
and being too mean.
- Funny first, mean second.
You can put mean into funny, you can't put funny into mean.
(tense instrumental music)
- If I could roast anyone it would be Newton.
Aspergers, died a virgin.
I mean, it's just easy.
- It'd be Hitler.
He had so many followers.
- Joan Rivers.
I would love to be able to roast her
just for the opportunity to have her give it back.
- What an honor it would be to roast Jesus Christ.
I think he'd be a good sport.
- It's got to be Jesus.
He's the biggest name.
Boo hoo hoo, they crucified me.
Hey, I've done two weeksin Cleveland before.
I get it.