>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THEREPORT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOININGUS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
>> STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN!
STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, LADIESAND GENTLEMEN.
WELCOME TO THE REPORT,EVERYBODY.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOININGUS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )FOLKS, IF YOU WATCH THE OTHER
NEWS CHANNELS-- AND I HOPE YOUDON'T-- YOU KNOW THERE'S ONLY
ONE LEAD STORY TODAY AND THAT ISTHE RACIST COMMENTS OF L.A.
CLIPPERS OWNER AND DARTH VADERWITH HIS HELMET OFF, DONALD
STERLING.
( LAUGHTER )WE'VE ALL HEARD WHAT HE SAID,
AND IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD, YOU'REA RACIST.
( LAUGHTER )BUT JUST TO REFRESH OUR OUTRAGE,
STERLING AND HIS WIFE ARE SUINGHIS EX-MISTRESS TO RECOVER $1.8
MILLION STERLING GAVE HER.
COINCIDENTALLY, A RECORDING WASMYSTERIOUSLY RELEASED OF
STERLING LECTURING HIS MISTRESSABOUT HER FRIENDS.
>> IT BOTHERS ME A LOT IF YOUWANT TO BROADCAST THAT YOU'RE
ASSOCIATING WITH BLACK PEOPLE.
DO YOU HAVE TO?
WHY PUBLICIZE IT ON THEINSTAGRAM?
>> WHY BRING THE BLACK PEOPLESTO THE GAME?
>> HOW ABOUT YOUR WHOLE LIFE,EVERY DAY.
YOU COULD DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
YOU COULD SLEEP WITH THEM, YOUCOULD BRING THEM IN, YOU COULD
DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
THE LITTLE I ASK YOU IS NOT TOPROMOTE IT ON-- AND NOT TO BRING
THEM TO MY GAMES.
>> Stephen: BLACK PEOPLECAN'T ATTEND HIS GAMES.
( BOOING )I COULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT BETTER
MYSELF.
( LAUGHTER )FOLKS, I AM SHOCKED THAT
STERLING WOULD PERPETUATE THECRUEL STEREOTYPE THAT WHITE
PEOPLE ARE GENETICALLY SUPERIORAT BASKETBALL SPECTATING.
OH, LET ME GUESS, BECAUSE OURMUSCULO-SKELETAL STRUCTURE MAKES
IT EASIER FOR US TO PUMP CHEESE.
THAT IS RACIST.
AND EVERYONE HAS EXPRESSEDOUTRAGE, FOLK.
EVEN THE CLIPPERS' PLAYERS MADEA STATEMENT.
>> THE CLIPPERS PLAYERS, THEYSTAGED A SILENT PROTEST DUMPING
THE WARM-UP UNIFORMS ON CENTERCOURT AND WEARING THEIR JERSEYS
INSIDE OUT CONCEALING THECLIPPERS' LOGO.
>> Stephen: THEY CONCEALEDTHE BELOVED LOGO OF THE CLIPPERS
WHICH WE ALL KNOW IS...
( LAUGHTER )I WANT TO SAY A GUY GETTING A
HAIRCUT OR-- OH, A TOENAILCLIPPER WITH GOOGLY EYES.
BUT, FOLKS, AS A LIFELONGBELIEVER IN LOOKING NOT RACIST,
I-- I WILL NOT BE OUT-OUTRAGED.
SO I HEREBY CONDEMN DONALDSTERLING NOT ONLY FOR HIS RACIST
COMMENTS BUT FOR THAT LAST THINGHE SAID TO HIS MISTRESS ABOUT
HER BLACK FRIENDS.
>> HOW ABOUT YOUR WHOLE LIFE,EVERY DAY, YOU COULD DO WHATEVER
YOU WANT.
YOU COULD SLEEP WITH THEM.
YOU COULD BRING THEM IN.
YOU COULD DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.
>> Stephen: YOU COULD SLEEPWITH HIM?
I'M SORRY, BUT WHATEVER HAPPENEDTO THE SANCTITY OF TRADITIONAL
INFIDELITY?
( LAUGHTER )I MEAN, IT IS ONE MAN, ONE
MISTRESS, $1.8 MILLION.
AND STERLING SHOULD KNOW BETTERBECAUSE HE IS AN OLD HAND AT
ADULTERY.
WELL, HE'S AN OLD EVERYTHING.
BUT HERE'S AN ACTUAL TRANSCRIPTOF HIS TESTIMONY FROM A 2003
LEGAL DISPUTE WITH A PREVIOUSMISTRESS.
STERLING: WELL, I FOOL AROUNDSOMETIMES.
I DO.
WHEN A GIRL SEDUCES ME AND TELLSME ALL OF THESE HOT STORIES AND
DIRTY THINGS AND TELLS ME HOWMUCH SHE WANTS TO SUCK ON ME AND
TAKE MY SHOES OFF AND LICK MYFEET AND TOUCHES.
WHEN I'M IN A LIMOUSINE, SHETAKES OFF ALL HER CLOTHES, THE
LIMO DRIVER SAID, "WHAT IS GOINGON?"
AND SHE STARTED SUCKING ON ME ONTHE WAY TO MR. KOON'S HOUSE, AND
I THANK HER-- I THANK HER FORMAKING ME FEEL GOOD.
LAWYER: SIR, THE QUESTION WAS,IS THIS YOUR HANDWRITING?
( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS )BAG BOYS OF AMERICA, NEVER ASK
THIS MAN PAPER OR PLASTIC?
TODAY, N.B.A. COMMISSIONER ANDCARBOHYDRATE-FREE LIFE FORM ADAM
SILVER ANNOUNCED STERLING'S JUSTPUNISHMENT.
>> EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, I AMBANNING MR. STERLING FOR LIFE
FROM ANY ASSOCIATION WITH THECLIPPERS ORGANIZATION OR THE
N.B.A.
>> Stephen: BANNED FOR LIFE.
WHO KNOWS HOW MANY MONTHS THATMIGHT BE?
( LAUGHTER )BUT IF THIS MAN-- IF THIS MAN
STILL WANTS TO OWN A TEAM, IBELIEVE HE SHOULD BE CONSISTENT
AND START HIS OWN ALL-WHITELEAGUE.
( LAUGHTER )THE GAMES WILL BE JUST AS
EXCITING.
HE PASSES.
AND HE PASSES BACK.
AND-- AND-- AND HE DRIBBLES.
AND-- AND-- AND HE PASSES?
AND HE POINTS.
AND HE DRIBBLES AND HE POINTSAND HE WAVES.
AND, AND, AND HE PASSES.
AND HE DRIBBLES AND HE PASSES.
AND HE PASSES BACK.
AND HE PASSES.
AND HE PASSES BACK.
AND HE SHOOTS.
AND THE ALL-WHITE CROWD ISLOVING IT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
I'VE GOT TO WORK ON MYTWO-HANDED BOUNCE-PASS.