Scott Kennedy - Not Your Gay Stereotype

  • Season 8 , Ep 28
  • 06/10/2004
  • Views: 4,523

Gay guys usually think Scott talks to them just so he can bash them. (2:30)

I LIKE TO EAT, I LIKE TO DRINK,

I LIKE TO GAMBLE.

I HAVE A VERY ADDICTIVE

PERSONALITY.

IN FACT, I JUST BOUGHT A BOOK

AN ADDICTION.

I LOVE IT.

I CAN'T PUT IT DOWN, I SWEAR

TO GOD.

IT'S MY FAVORITE BOOK.

I'M GONNA BUY ANOTHER COPY IF

THE GUY WILL ANSWER HIS PAGER.

I--

[LAUGHTER]

OH.

I AM ADDICTED.

I'M ADDICTED TO A BAND RIGHT

NOW I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF.

YEAH.

I'M ADDICTED TO THIS BAND CALLED

BLINK-182.

DO YOU KNOW THIS BAND?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YEAH.

OKAY.

NOW, DON'T THINK YOU'RE MORE

IN LOVE THAN I AM, 'CAUSE I AM

IN LOVE WITH THE--

I TOTALLY WOULD LIKE DATE THE

DRUMMER TO MEET THIS BAND,

I SWEAR TO GOD.

I--

[LAUGHTER]

AND LOOK AT ALL THE WOMEN GOING,

"NO, YOU'D NEVER DATE THE

DRUMMER.

HE CAN'T GET YOU BACKSTAGE.

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT A ROOKIE."

I-- YOU KNOW WHAT?

TIMING IS EVERYTHING.

I DID NOT TIME THAT LAST JOKE

CORRECTLY.

EARLIER, I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE

TOLD YOU ALL I'M GAY, WHICH I

AM.

YOU KNOW?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND THEN THAT WHOLE--

YOU KNOW, THE DRUMMER FROM

BLINK, AND-- THE MALE STRIP

SHOW, AND WHY I TALKED TO

STEVEN WOULD MAKE A LOT MORE

SENSE NOW.

WELL, YEAH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I TOTALLY NEED TO REWORK

THE ACT.

I AM GAY, BY THE WAY.

THAT FREAKS SOME PEOPLE OUT

WHEN I TELL THEM THAT, 'CAUSE

I GUESS I DON'T FIT A

STEREOTYPE, THAT YOU THINK ALL

GAY PEOPLE LOOK LIKE OR ACT

LIKE.

I MEAN, I DON'T SKIP AND SING

SHOW TUNES.

YOU KNOW.

[LAUGHTER]

AND I DON'T LIKE SHOW TUNES,

AND I'M TOO FAT TO SKIP.

I KNOW THAT.

I--

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

FRIENDS OF MINE THINK IT'S

EASIER FOR ME, TOO.

BEING A BIG, GAY GUY THAT

DOESN'T LOOK STEREOTYPICALLY

GAY.

THEY'RE ALWAYS LIKE, "WELL,

YOU PROBABLY JUST PASS.

IT'S EASY."

NO, IT'S NOT EASIER.

I SWEAR TO GOD, IF I GO TO A

GAY-- LIKE TONIGHT-- WE'RE IN

NEW YORK.

IF I GO TO THE VILLAGE--

IF I GO TO A GAY BAR, GUYS DON'T

THINK I'M THERE TO LIKE,

DATE THEM.

THEY THINK I'M THERE TO BASH

THEM.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

IF I MEET A CUTE GUY, I'M LIKE,

"HEY, YOU'RE CUTE.

YOU WANNA GET SOME COFFEE?"

THEY'RE ALWAYS LIKE,

[LISPING] "I DON'T THINK SO."

[LAUGHTER]

[MAKING WHISTLE SOUNDS]

[LAUGHTER]

THEY'RE BLOWING THEIR RAPE

WHISTLE.

[MAKING WHISTLE SOUNDS]

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE A

RAPE WHISTLE.

[TRILLING TONGUE]

CUT TO THREE LESBIANS KICKING

THE [BLEEP] OUT OF ME.

ALL RIGHT, PERFECT.

[LAUGHTER]

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