Shane Mauss - Tough Guy

  • Season 14 , Ep 8
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 7,494

If Shane Mauss heard someone breaking into his house, he would pretend that he was also breaking into his house. (1:42)

I DON'T HAVE ANY GUNS,NO WEAPONS.

SOMERSAULTS --THAT'S HOW I ROLL.

[ CHUCKLES ]

THAT'S A REALLY DUMB JOKE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I GUESS I HAVE NO WAYOF DEFENDING MYSELF, RIGHT?

SO I WAS THINKING THE OTHER DAY

THAT IF I EVER HEARD SOMEONEBREAKING INTO MY HOUSE,

I WOULD JUST TRY TO PRETEND

LIKE I WAS ALSO BREAKINGINTO MY HOUSE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

OH, AND WE WOULD LAUGH

ABOUT THAT COINCIDENCEFOR A WHILE, HUH?

BE LIKE, "CAN YOU BELIEVETHIS LOSER'S PLACE?

NOTHING OF VALUE."

[ CHUCKLES LIGHTLY ]

"EXCEPT FORTHESE SWEET PAJAMAS."

[ LAUGHTER ]

I'D JUST TRY TO MAKE HIM REALLYUNCOMFORTABLE TILL HE LEFT.

LIKE, "OH, CAN'T WAITTILL THIS DUDE GETS HOME.

I'M GONNA GET MY RAPE ON.YEAH!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

"WHAT?

"I JUST WANTED TO STEALSOME [BLEEP] YOU PERVERT.

I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE."

[ CHUCKLES ]

NOW WHAT I DO FOR SELF-DEFENSE

IS I CARRY A BABY AROUNDWITH ME.

SO, I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT.

I WAS LIKE,"WHAT KIND OF A PERSON --

"NO, WHAT KIND OF A MONSTER

WOULD ATTACK SOMEONE THAT WILLHIT THEM WITH A BABY?"

[ LAUGHTER ]

NOBODY.

Loading...