Leonard Ouzts - IHOP Foreplay

Banyan Tree Elf Season 3, Ep 6 04/07/2016 Views: 907

Leonard Ouzts talks about his favorite food to eat while high and the greatest challenge of working at IHOP. (1:35)

I like to smoke weed.

Can't smoke with everybody.

I choose who I'ma smoke with

based on what kind of snacksyou gonna have

when we get high.

I got this white friendnamed Timmy.

Had to put himin the Hall of Fame.

First time we smoked together,

he pulled out some Lunchables.

Messed me up'cause I didn't even know

you could eat Lunchablesat home.

I thought you had to bein school to each Lunchables.

I ate two semesters' worthof Lunchables at his house.

It was amazing.

Third and fourth grade--it was crazy.

He had the pizza Lunchables.

Remember the pizza Lunchables?

- Whoo!- Whoo-hoo!

You felt likeyour own lunch lady.

You be talking to yourself--

"I'ma put the sauce on itlike this.

"I'ma spread the saucewith the pepperoni.

I'ma bedazzle the cheeseon the pizza."

I don't even knowwhat "bedazzle" means,

but I know you got to bedazzlethe cheese.

I used to be--I used to be a server at IHOP.

I used to work at IHOP.

You know how hard it isto smoke weed,

be big,and take orders?

Felt like meand the customers

was always having foreplay.

They sound so sexy ordering;they'd be like,

"Um, I would likethe pancakes."

I'd be like,"What kind of pancakes?"

They'd be like, "Buttermilk."

I'd be like, "Ooh.

"Ooh.

Whew."

Then they get aggressive.

"Give me two eggs scrambledwith cheese."

I'm like,"Wait, wait, wait, wait."

"Provolone cheese."

I'm like, "Provolone?

"I ain't never did itwith the provolone.