YEAH. YEAH. I LIKE IT. I LIKE IT.
I LIKE IT. I LIKE IT, ENTHUSIASM.
Y'ALL IS CLAPPIN' LIKE YOU KNOW ME.
I APPRECIATE THE LOVERIGHT THERE, 'CAUSE I--
YEAH, 'CAUSE, YOU GOTTA WORK. I UNDERSTAND YOU GOTTA WORK,
YOU KNOW, I UNDERSTAND WHEN PEOPLE HAVE TO GO ON STRIKE.
THAT'S WHY I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN A GOOD
CIVIL RIGHT MOVEMENT PERSON, YOU KNOW,
'CAUSE THAT WAS TOO MUCH WALKIN'AT ONE TIME FOR ME RIGHT THERE.
THEY WOULD HAVE OF HAD TO COME TO THE HOUSE AND SEE ME THEN,
YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE--YOU DON'T REALLY WANNA--
YEAH, 'CAUSE IT WASTOO HOT THEN, YOU KNOW.
IT'S NEVER A GOOD TIME TO DO A MOVEMENT REALLY, YOU KNOW.
IT'S EITHER TOO HOT OR IT'S TOO COLD, YOU KNOW,
SO I WOULD HAVE HADTO CALL 'EM UP AND SAY,
"HEY, Y'ALL CANCOME OVER TO THE HOUSE.
YOU KNOW I GOT TV AND EVERYTHING.
WE CAN JUST CALL 'EMAND TELL 'EM HOW WE FEELABOUT STUFF, YOU KNOW.
'CAUSE, I AM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO MARCH THIS EVENING,
YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE IT'S NOT A GOOD THING TO BE MARCHING WHEN IT'S HOT 'CAUSE..."
YEAH, 'CAUSE THAT'S WHY I'M NOT GOOD AT,
YOU KNOW, PEOPLE SAY, "WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE A REGULAR JOB?"
YOU KNOW THIS IS A REGULAR JOB.
I JUST DON'T WORK 8 HOURS 'CAUSEI'M NOT A GOOD 8-HOUR WORKER.
IT'S JUST-- YEAH. 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK
YOU SHOULD HAVE TO BEAROUND PEOPLE THAT LONG
THAT YOU DON'T KNOW, YOU KNOW. THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING.
YOU BE LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE. WHY AM I HERE THIS LONG,"
YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK IT TAKE 8 HOURS TO DO NOTHING.
WE SHOULD NOT BE AROUND EACH OTHER THIS LONG, YOU KNOW,
'CAUSE YOU ARE THERE SO LONG, BECAUSE IT'S THE HOURLY WAGE.
YOU KNOW THEY PAY YOU LIKE $10 AN HOUR OR SOMETHING,
AND THEY MAKE YOU WORK 8 HOURS.
BUT I SAY PAY ME$80 AN HOUR FOR AN HOUR,
AND THEREFORE THAT WOULD BUILD EMPLOYEE MORALE RIGHT THERE,
YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE YEAH,
'CAUSE THEY GOT TOO MANY RULES ON THE JOB.
LIKE, I USED TO WORK AT THIS RESTAURANT CALLED CRACKER BARREL, YOU KNOW.
AND I WAS A DISHWASHER IN THE RESTAURANT
AND I WAS A GOOD DISHWASHER. BUT THEY HAD TOO MANY RULES,
'CAUSE THE SUPERVISOR CALLED ME IN THE OFFICE ONE DAY
AND HE WAS LIKE, "OH, ROD, WE NEED YOU TO TAKE A DRUG TEST."
AND I WAS LIKE, "WHOA, I TOOK A DRUG TEST TO GET THE JOB,"
AND HE WAS LIKE, "NO. THIS IS A RANDOM DRUG TEST."
AND I WAS LIKE, "WELL HELL, YOU BETTER PICK SOMEBODY ELSE
"THEN, DAMN IT 'CAUSE THIS NOT...
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]- "YEAH, THIS AIN'T A...
"THIS NOT A GOOD DAY TO DO ME, YOU KNOW.
"DON'T GET ME WRONG. I CAN PASS THE TEST.
"I JUST NEED TIME TO STUDY. THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.
"I'VE NEVER BEEN A GOOD POP QUIZ TAKER.
THAT'S NOT MY THING. I NEED TIME TO STUDY."
'CAUSE, EVERYWHERE YOU GO THEY GOT TESTS, YOU KNOW.
THAT'S JUST LIKE IF YOU GO TO A CLUB AND THEY GIVE YOU
A TWO-DRINK MINIMUM IN THE CLUB.AND, YOU KNOW, AS A KID
THERE WAS OFFICER FRIENDLY, HE WOULD COME TO THE SCHOOL
AND TELL YOU, "YOU HAVE A FRIEND IN LAW ENFORCEMENT."
BUT WHEN YOU GET GROWN,YOU CANNOT FIND OFFICER FRIENDLY
NO MORE AT ALL.
BECAUSE I WAS IN A CLUB ONE NIGHT AND I HAD TWO DRINKS,
BECAUSE THAT WAS THE MINIMUM. THEY WOULD NOT LET ME STAY
IN THE CLUB UNTIL THE DRUNK TWO DRINKS.
AND I WAS LIKE, "I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THIS IS MY MINIMUM.
I'M-- WHAT'S MY MAXIMUM?I DON'T REALLY KNOW."
BUT YOU DRINK YOUR DRINKS AND THEN YOU GO GET IN YOUR CAR.
BUT YOU'RE NOT DRUNK, BUT EVIDENTLY MY CAR
HAD A COUPLE DRINKSWHILE I WAS IN THE CLUB.
- [LAUGHTER]- OR SOMETHING,
'CAUSE I WAS JUST ALL OVER THE LINE.
I BE LIKE, "WHOA. WE CANNOT BE OVER THE DIVIDER TONIGHT.
THIS IS NOT A GOOD NIGHTFOR ME TO DO THIS."
AND THE POLICE PULLED ME OVER. HE WAS LIKE, "SIR, I'M GONNA
"NEED YOU TO STEP OUT THE VEHICLE
AND TAKE A FIELD SOBRIETY TEST."
AND YOU KNOW THE TEST IS NEVER IN A FIELD, YOU KNOW,
'CAUSE I WAS LIKE, "THIS IS NOT A FIELD.
THIS IS A ROAD SOBRIETY TEST."
'CAUSE I FELT LIKE IT WAS IN A FIELD,
I WOULD BE ABLE TO RUN BETTER IN A FIELD 'CAUSE...
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
YEAH, 'CAUSE IT'S NOT CONDUCIVE TO THE ROAD.
'CAUSE I ALWAYS GET TICKETS. POLICE DON'T NEVER LIKE
TO WORK WITH YOU ON CHARGES, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE I WAS IN L.A.
AND THEY GOT LIKE A CARPOOL LANE.
AND I THOUGHT I WAS HELPING TRAFFIC.
I GOT IN THE CARPOOL LANE'CAUSE THERE WAS SO MUCH TRAFFIC
IN ALL THE OTHER LANES,AND I WAS LIKE,
"WHOA, EVERYBODY-- IT SEEMS TO BE MOVING WELL
IN THAT LANE RIGHT THERE." YOU KNOW, SO I GOT IN THE
LITTLE CARPOOL LANE AND I'MRIDIN' GOOD IN THE CARPOOL LANE.
BUT THE LITTLE POLICE ON THE MOTORCYCLE GET BEHIND ME
AND HE WAS LIKE, "WOO, WOO." AND I WAS LIKE, "WHOA,
"I NEED TO GET OUT OF HIS WAY 'CAUSE EVIDENTLY HE IS LOOKING
FOR SOMEBODY, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE HE WAS IN A HURRY."
SO I PULLED OVER AND HE PULLED RIGHT BEHIND ME.
AND I WAS LIKE, "WHOA, MAYBE HE WANT ME TO TELL HIM
"IF I SEEN ANYTHINGOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
SO, YEAH, I BE A GOOD SAMARITAN OR SOMETHING."
BUT HE CAME RIGHT TO CAR, AND HE LIKE,
"SIR, YOU CAN'T BE IN THIS LANE
UNLESS YOU HAVE ANOTHER PERSON IN THE VEHICLE."
AND I LOOKED AT HIM AND I LOOKED AT HIS MOTORCYCLE
AND I WAS LIKE, "WELL, WHERE YOUR OTHER PERSON AT?
"YOU DON'T HAVE NOBODY ON YOUR MOTORCYCLE,
"SO I WOULD LIKE TO PRESS CHARGES, TOO.
SO, YOU DON'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE IN THIS LANE
TO STOP ME REALLY. SO THIS IS APPLAUSE.
[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]