I was in Louisville, Kentucky.I hadn't been there before.
Just walking around,trying to get some lunch.
Looking for lunchin all the wrong places.
Walking around, I saw--
it was, uh,it was two black guys,
and one of themwas holding a white baby.
I was like,"They stole that baby."
[laughter and groans]
I didn't want--it's not like I put it together.
It was like--bink!"That's what you thought.
You son of a bitch!"
And the irony was,I was on my phone
trying to find outif a particular sandwich chain
had donatedto anti-gay charities,
'cause I'm like,"I cannot support that.
"That is hatred,and I will not eat there.
"I'll make my own sandwich.
"I'll go buy bread and meatif I have to,
"but I will not supportthat kind of hatred--
"Those guys stole that baby.
But I will not go eatat this place."
Oh, I'm disgustedwith myself.
I went to Seoul, South Korea,last year.
I'd never been to Asia.
I was just taking inthis amazing, amazing city.
And I'm just walking around--
bright, sunny day,walking around the market,
and just out in the sunshine,
and I'm the only onewearing sunglasses.
I'm like, "How come I'm the onlyone wearing sunglasses?"
I'm like,"Oh, they don't need them
"'cause their eyesare already--
"Oh, don't even finish it.
"Don't even finish it.
Oh, why is thatwhat's in here?"
But that's what--like,you see people like,
"Stereotypes existfor a reason."
"Yeah, 'cause you're a dickhead.That's why they exist."
That's great."Asians are bad drivers."
Go to Asia.Asians are amazing drivers.
They're just punk rockabout it.
They just don't give a [bleep]about the rules
when they come over here.
I saw a traffic circlewith 9,000 people
in Seoul, South Korea.
No lines, no lights,just whirring.
I saw a guy on a scooter
with 19 chickens on the backcut off a bus.
He didn't lose the ashoff his cigarette.
That guy comes over here,
you're like,"You're not using your signal."
He's like, "Screw you.
"I've driven overbombed-out bridges,
I can handle a merge."