Kevin Ware's Leg, Lohan Sighting & Teacher Poisoning

Season 1 , Ep 8 04/09/13 Views: 21,834

A Louisville basketball player breaks his shin bone, Amanda Seyfried is mistaken for Lindsay Lohan, and two 13-year-old students are in deep trouble. (1:10)

AW, SNAP.

LOUISVILLE BASKETBALL PLAYERKEVIN WARE

SNAPPED HIS SHINBONEDURING A GAME LAST WEEK,

WHICH MEANS HE ACTUALLY MIGHTGET HIS COMMUNICATIONS DEGREE.

[laughter]

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.

SHAIN GANDEE, ONE OF THE STARSOF THE MTV SHOW BUCKWILD,

WAS FOUND DEAD THIS WEEKIN WEST VIRGINIA.

GANDEE APPARENTLY DIEDAFTER LEAVING A BAR

WITH HIS UNCLE AT 3:00 A.M.TO GO FOUR-WHEELING IN THE WOODS

OR, AS IT'S KNOWNIN WEST VIRGINIA,

NATURAL CAUSES.

[laughter]

MY, WHAT BIG EYES YOU HAVE.

AT AN AIRPORT RECENTLY,ACTRESS AMANDA SEYFRIED

WAS MISTAKEN FOR LINDSAY LOHAN.

BUT AMANDA'S NICE.

SHE PATIENTLY EXPLAINEDTO THE PERSON,

"NO, HONEY,YOU'RE LINDSAY LOHAN."

[laughter and applause]

THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP.

TWO 13-YEAR-OLD STUDENTSIN VIRGINIA

ARE FACING FELONY CHARGES

AFTER THEY TRIED TO SLOWLYPOISON THEIR MATH TEACHER

BY PUTTING HAND SANITIZERIN HER COFFEE.

[audience oohing]

SO LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU.

YOU CAN POISON PEOPLE

BY ADDING HAND SANITIZERTO THEIR COFFEE.

[laughter and applause]

YEAH.

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