Exclusive - Greg Giraldo - Sizing Up the Dais - Uncensored

Roast of William Shatner Season 1, Ep 101 08/20/2006 Views: 26,154

Greg Giraldo gauges his attraction to the women of the dais, wonders about the state of Artie Lange's liver and acknowledges a specific challenge faced by George Takei. (1:43)

Look at this dais.

Fat guys, old ladies,and an Asian.

I feel like I'm on a busto Atlantic City.

Look at this,Nichelle Nichols,

Farrah Fawcett,and Betty White.

Uh, I'll take women I wouldmasturbate to 30 years ago

for $1,000, Alex?

What a--

What a--

Somebody get me a time machineso I can crank a couple out.

What a cruel joke.

Three women you'd wantto fuck 30 years ago

and one I wouldn't fuck30 beers from now.

Farrah Fawcett, god were you a70's icon

That poster of you in thebathing suit, holy shit.

That poster caused more DNA tobe spilled

Than a crime lab technician withparkinson's disease.

Artie Lange, you...

You fat, drunk, slob.

Artie, your liver has more holesin it than Mel Gibson's apology.

Your liver is so black...

Lisa Lampanelli tried to get itto fuck her up the ass

And never call again.

Artie your pal George Takei ishere

Hard to pick on you George, Iknow it couldn't be easy

Being a gay Japanese man in the50's

I mean it had to be almostimpossible to pronounce

Glory hole with a Japaneseaccent.