Gabriel Iglesias - Traveling in Singapore

Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy Season 1, Ep 101 04/07/2013 Views: 37,553

While going through customs in Singapore, Gabriel Iglesias learns about the country's hardcore drug penalties. (1:42)

THE ONLY THING WITH SINGAPOREIS THAT SINGAPORE, THE RULES

OVER THERE ARE VERY STRICT.

LIKE, UH, MANY YEARS AGO,AN AMERICAN WENT OVER THERE,

AND HE WAS GRAFFITIING ONA WALL, OKAY?

HE TAGGED UP A WALL, AND THEYGOT HIM, AND THEY DON'T GIVE

OUT TICKETS IN SINGAPORE.

THE PENALTY FOR THAT WAS,THEY PULLED HIM ASIDE,

TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT,AND THEY CANED HIM WITH A STICK.

AND THERE'S NO SET NUMBER, LIKE,OH, YOU GRAFFITI A WALL

WITH TWO LETTERS,THAT'S FOUR LICKS.

NO, THE GUY HITS YOU UNTIL HEFEELS YOU'VE LEARNED A LESSON.

YEAH, THAT'S HARDCORE.

IF YOU'RE CAUGHT SMUGGLING DRUGSINTO SINGAPORE,

THE PENALTY IS DEATH,WHICH MAKES SOMEBODY LIKE MYSELF

NERVOUS WHEN YOU TRAVEL WITHTHE PEOPLE THAT YOU TRAVEL WITH.

[cheers and applause]MARTIN!

HELL, YEAH.

AND YOU KNOW IT'S CRAZY BECAUSETHEY PLAY A VIDEO WHEN YOU'RE

GOING THROUGH CUSTOMS.

AS YOU'RE GOING THROUGH CUSTOMS,THEY PLAY A VIDEO TO LET YOU

KNOW WHERE YOU'RE ABOUTTO GO IN TO.

AND IT STARTS OFF REALLY NICE.

IT STARTS OFF SWEET.

IT'S LIKE--[imitates gentle music]

"WELCOME TO SINGAPORE.

SINGAPORE VERYBEAUTIFUL COUNTRY.

VERY NICE COUNTRY.

VERY CLEAN COUNTRY.

IF YOU ARE CAUGHT SMUGGLINGDRUGS INTO OUR COUNTRY,

I STAB YOU!

I CHOKE YOU!

I KNOCK YOU ON THE GROUND!

I SQUAT OVER YOU AND PEE ON YOUWHILE DOING GANGNAM STYLE.

I DO IT LIKE THAT!

I KICK YOU AND KILL YOU."

[cheers and applause]

ENJOY SINGAPORE.

UH-HUH.