I had a girlfriend in college.I liked her a lot.
I remember on our first date
when we were leavingthe restaurant,
she showed methat she had stolen
the two glassesfrom the restaurant.
I was like,"We're going out again."
"We're going to Best Buy."
"Right now,put on some cargo pants.
We're going Christmas shoppingfor my parents."
"Yeah, Oliver Twists..."
It's weird dating someonein school, though,
'cause you graduate,and sometimes
you go your separate waysfor jobs or whatever.
Like, I got a job living at homewith my parents, and, uh...
I aced that interview.
I was like, "I'm your son, andI don't have a place to live.
"Help me move thisPac-Man video game machine
into the dining room."
It's really heavy.
"Michael, that's not goingin the dining room."
"Whatever, that's where we eat.That's where he eats."
(applause and cheering)