Carlos Mencia - Female Orgasms

  • Season 6 , Ep 10
  • 06/23/2002
  • Views: 12,513

Women can reach orgasm quickly if they want. (2:32)

FOR EVERYBODY.

'CAUSE IT'S NEVER YOUR FAULT

IN AMERICA.

TRY IT'S NEVER MY FAULT.

REMEMBER WHEN WE HAD A DREAM

IN AMERICA?

IF YOU WORK HARD ENOUGH,

YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH.

REMEMBER THAT DREAM?

NOW IT'S ALL ABOUT,

"SOMEBODY TOOK MY JOB."

YOU NOTICE THAT?

IF THE BLACK PERSON CAN'T GET

A JOB, THE WHITE MAN TOOK IT.

IF A BEANER CAN'T GET A JOB,

THE WHITE MAN TOOK IT.

IF A MIDGET CAN'T GET A JOB,

THE TALL PEOPLE TOOK IT.

IF A FAT GUY CAN'T GET A JOB,

SKINNY PEOPLE TOOK IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

IF A WOMAN CAN'T GET A JOB,

IT'S BECAUSE MEN WITH THEIR

EVIL PENISES OF DEATH TOOK IT.

(LAUGHTER)

AND IF YOU'RE A WHITE MALE

AND YOU DON'T GET A JOB,

HEY, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

AFFIRMATIVE ACTION GAVE YOUR JOB

TO THE WOMAN, THEY GUY,

THE (BLEEP), THE MIDGET,

THE BLACK GUY, THE BEANER.

WHAT HAPPENED?

(APPLAUSE)

LISTEN, IF YOU HAVE A CRAPPY

JOB, IT'S YOUR FAULT.

I'M TIRED OF GOING TO TACO BELL

AND HAVING GUY'S LOOK AT ME

LIKE, "HOW COME I GOT TO WORK

AT T-T-TACO BELL?"

(LAUGHTER)

I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE IT HAD

SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOUR

RE-RE-REPORT CARD.

MAYBE THAT'S WHERE YOU SCREWED

UP.

MAYBE YOU'RE STUPID.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

YOU GOT STRAIGHT Ds.

WHAT DOES THAT SPELL?

DA-DA-DA-DA-DAAA.

THAT'S WHAT IT SPELLS!

DO YOUR JOB, JACKASS.

(LAUGHTER)

WHEN YOUR WOMAN DOESN'T ORGASM,

IT'S NOT HER FAULT.

IT'S YOUR FAULT.

"YOU DIDN'T MAKE ME REACH

CLIMAX."

THEY NEVER SAY, "NO,

I HAD THINGS ON MY MIND.

I WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE."

"NO, HE DIDN'T MAKE ME DO IT,

HE DIDN'T MAKE ME DO IT."

WHICH I FIND INTERESTING,

WHEN A WOMAN CAN'T CLIMAX,

IT'S OUR FAULT.

BUT WHEN WE CAN'T GET

AN ERECTION, WE GOT TO GO

TO THE DOCTOR.

(LAUGHTER)

WHOA, WHAT HAPPENED?

WHOA, WHOA, WHAT HAPPENED?

YOU CAN'T, YOU CAN'T--

SOME OF YOU GUYS DON'T GET IT

SO LET ME EXPLAIN IT TO YOU.

YOU'RE WOMAN CAN REACH ORGASM

REALLY QUICK.

SHE DOESN'T WANT TO WITH YOU.

AND IF YOU THINK I'M FULL OF

CRAP, ASK HER TO MASTURBATE

IN THE SHOWER ONE DAY AND WATCH.

ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE ONE OF

THOSE SHOWERS.

JUST ASK HER TO DO IT.

(LAUGHTER)

ASK HER.

IT WILL TAKE A MINUTE AND

SHE'LL BE LIKE, "OH, AHHH!"

YOU'LL BE LIKE, "WHAAA NOOOO!"

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

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