Bret Ernst - Out of Control

  • Season 14 , Ep 17
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 20,324

Men shouldn't have to dress up for Halloween or send thank you notes to their friends. (1:19)

JUST LET US BE DUDES, LADIES.STOP!

IT'S GETTING OUT OF CONTROL.

THIS WHOLE HOMOGENIZED GENDEREVERYBODY'S TRYING -- NO!

WOMEN ARESTARTING TO ACT LIKE MEN,

AND MEN ARESTARTING TO ACT LIKE WOMEN.

IT'S ALL GETTING SCREWED UP.

LET'S ALL JUSTPUT THE BRAKES ON.

STOP -- NO, I'M SAYING,

'CAUSE WOMEN MAKE MEN DO STUFFWE DON'T USUALLY DO,

LIKE GET HEALTH INSURANCE...

[ LAUGHTER ]

...DRESS FOR HALLOWEEN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THE GIRL I'M CLIPPING NOW,SHE'S LIKE,

"HEY, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO GO FORFOR HALLOWEEN?"

I'M LIKE...

[ LAUGHTER,CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ Chuckling ]WHAT ARE YOU GUYS CLAPPING AT?

THE GIRL I'M SEEING NOW...

[ LAUGHTER ]

...SHE'S LIKE,"LET'S GO OUT FOR HALLOWEEN.

YOU KNOW, LET'S DRESS UP.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO GO AS?"

I'M LIKE, "HOW ABOUTA GROWN MAN? HOW ABOUT THAT?"

[ LAUGHTER ]

NAH, 'CAUSE THEY MAKE USDO STUFF WE SHOULDN'T.

THERE'S CERTAIN THINGS, AS MEN,YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO,

LIKE YOU DON'T SENDTHANK-YOU CARDS -- NO.

MY EX USED TO DO THATALL THE TIME.

SHE WAS ALWAYS TRYING

TO GET ME TO SENDTHANK-YOU CARDS TO MY FRIENDS.

"YOU SHOULD SEND YOUR BUDDY JAKEA THANK-YOU CARD."

"THAT WAS NICE,WHEN WE WERE HOME,

FOR HIM TO DRIVE US AROUND."

"LOOK, I'M NOT THANKING JAKE,ALL RIGHT? HE'S A DICK.

"NOT TO MENTION, IF YOU WANT METO KEEP HIM AS A FRIEND,

"THE LAST THING HE'S GONNA WANTIS A CARD

WITH TWO KITTENS ON IT,SAYING HE'S 'PURRIFIC.'"

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

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