Uh, one moretrick up my sleeve.
Something I've noticedcomedians do
is that they'llplay an instrument
and tell jokes,and their jokes are better.
So, I'm--I'm gonnaplay my omnichord.
[cheers and applause]
[electronic music playing]
[music speeds up]
[audience members cheering]
They're just dads.
Do you think turkeysare peacocks
that have let themselves go?
Do you thinkhorses fantasize
about making loveto Pegasuses
sort of in the same waywe fantasize
about making love to angels?
Do you thinksnakes fantasize
about making loveto garden hoses
in the same waywe fantasize
about making loveto shallow people?
I'm going to opena Thai food restaurant
in Seattlenext to the Space Needle.
But I'm going tocall it the Spice Noodle.
Not reallyinto observational humor,
and if you haven't noticed,well, neither are you.
I love Mexican dessert.
I'm the oppositeof an anorexic.
I'm what you'd calla flanorexic.
[music stops,crickets chirp]
Okay, that's fine.
I got some cricket humor.
I can handle this,I got cricket jokes.
I can entertain.
Hey, hey, I don't come overto your chrysalis
and knock the pollenout of your mouth, so...
[tinny laughter]Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Oh, what's up with JiminyCricket's new lady, right?
I mean, I don't want to be rude,but she's no lady bug.
I don't even knowwhat she sounds like
'cause that would require herputting her legs together.