Kyle Grooms - Water

  • Season 11 , Ep 6
  • 01/25/2007
  • Views: 7,214

Kyle Grooms wishes he'd thought of bottled water. (3:14)

AMERICA'S A BEAUTIFUL PLACE. WE GOT SOME HOT STUFF, MAN.

WE GOT WATER THEME PARKS.

- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]- YEAH.

AMERICA HAS WATER THEME PARKS, THAT'S AMAZING RIGHT?

'CAUSE SOME COUNTRIES DON'T HAVE WATER TO DRINK,

- AND WE PLAYING IN IT. - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

Y'ALL WATCH THE NEWS.

PEOPLE THIRSTY IN SOME COUNTRIES.

LOOKING UP IN THE SKYLIKE, "WATER!"

AND WE SLIDING THROUGH IT LIKE, "WEEEE.

WATER. WAAAAAH."

[APPLAUSE]

SWISH. [COUGHING]

"YUCK, I GOT SOME IN MY MOUTH.

- [LAUGHTER]- CLEAN WATER."

WE'RE SO SPOILED WE DON'T EVEN DRINK TAP WATER.

YOU EVER TRY TO GIVE SOMEBODY TAP WATER?

THEY BE LIKE, "I DON'T WANT THAT.

IF IT DON'T COME IN A BOTTLE,I'D RATHER BE THIRSTY."

WHICH IS A HUSTLE. I WISH I THOUGHT OF THAT.

BOTTLED WATER. IT'S TAP WATER IN A BOTTLE.

PEOPLE THINK IT'S BETTER FOR 'EM.

IT AIN'T NATURAL SPRING WATER. SOMEBODY GOTTA TURN ON THE TAP

TO PUT IT IN THE BOTTLE. IT'S TAP WATER.

AIN'T NOBODY DOWN AT A NATURAL SPRING FILLING UP BOTTLES.

BLOOP, BLOOP, BLOOP, BLOOP. BLOOP, BLOOP, BLOOP, BLOOP.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

BLOOP, BLOOP, BLOOP, BLOOP. BLOOP, BLOOP, BLOOP, BLOOP.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

A MILLION MORE OF THESE AND I GOT A COMPANY.

I KNOW TAP WATER. I GREW UP DRINKING IT.

I DID. MY MOTHER WOULDN'T BUY ANYTHING ELSE.

BUT SHE TRIED TO MAKE TAP WATER SOUND DELICIOUS. SHE CALLED IT "CITY PUNCH."

- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] - CITY PUNCH.

I LOVE MY MOTHER 'CAUSE SHE WANTED TO KEEP ME AND MY BROTHERS

OFF THE STREETS.

WE GREW UP IN A DRUG-INFESTED NEIGHBORHOOD,

THE UNITED STATES AND AH-- COME ON NOW.

FROM BROOKLYN TO BEVERLY HILLSWE GETTING HIGH.

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

WHAT OUR MOTHER WOULD DO, SHE WOULD SAVE HER MONEY

AND TAKE US SKIING ON THE WEEKENDS, WHICH WAS BRAVE.

SHE TOOK A BLACK FAMILY SKIING, RIGHT?

THIS WAS THE '80s. BROTHERS WEREN'T SKIING, MAN.

PEOPLE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WE WERECOMING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN.

THEY LOOKING UP CONFUSED. "OH MY GOD, ARE THOSE-- BEARS?

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, WHISTLES AND APPLAUSE]

"I THINK I SEE BEARS SKIING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN.

[GASPS] "THEY'RE AFRICAN-AMERICANS.

TRYING SOMETHING NEW. WHAT'S NEXT? GOLF?"

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