Louis C.K. - Talking to Strangers

  • Season 5 , Ep 10
  • 09/02/2001
  • Views: 36,475

Louis C.K likes to talk to strangers but not about boring things. (2:04)

I LIKE TO TALK TO STRANGERS.

I LIKE TO GO UP TO PEOPLE

I DON'T KNOW AND JUST START

CONVERSATIONS WITH THEM.

JUST START A CONVERSATION.

TRY IT.

BUT THE WAY I DO IT,

DON'T START THE CONVERSATION

IN THE BEGINNING, JUST START IT

IN THE MIDDLE.

TRY IT.

JUST GO UP TO SOMEBODY YOU DON'T

KNOW AND JUST GO, "WELL HOW DO

YOU THINK I FELT?"

(LAUGHTER)

I'D LIKE TO CHANGE THE WAY

PEOPLE TALK TO EACH OTHER.

I'M SO SICK OF THE (BLEEP)

YOU HAVE TO SAY TO PEOPLE,

LIKE IN THE CAB, YOU KNOW,

"HEY, IT'S COLD."

IT'S BORING.

I'D LIKE TO SAY STUFF TO THE GUY

HE'S NOT USED TO HEARING.

"HEY, DID YOU KNOW YOUR EYES ARE

THE HIGHEST HOLES ON YOUR HEAD?"

(LAUGHTER)

CREATIVE CONVERSATIONS.

"DO YOU THINK A BABY COULD EAT

ANOTHER BABY?"

(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S AWFUL.

I DON'T KNOW IF HE COULD.

IT'D BE THE PERFECT CRIME REALLY

BECAUSE WHO'S GONNA SUSPECT THAT

HE ATE--

NOBODY'S GONNA GO,

"OH, CLEARLY HE ATE HIM."

I WAS TALKING TO MY FRIEND THE

OTHER DAY-- I HAVE THIS

FRIEND-- YOU KNOW THE KIND OF

PEOPLE THAT IF THEY'RE HAPPY

FOR YOU THEY SOUND LIKE THEY'RE

IN PAIN?

YOU KNOW?

I HAVE THIS FRIEND I'M TALKING

TO ON THE PHONE, HE'S LIKE,

"HEY HOW YA DOING?"

I'M LIKE, "I'M GOOD.

I GOT MARRIED."

HE'S LIKE, "OH, THAT'S GREAT.

AHH, GOD BLESS YOU...

OOOOWWW!"

(LAUGHTER)

I NEVER ANSWER MY PHONE ANYMORE.

IT'S ALWAYS SOME IDIOT--

WE SPEND ALL OUR TIME NOW ON

CUSTOMER SERVICE PHONE CALLS.

THAT'S LIKE 20% OF EVERY DAY

NOW, IS, "NO I DIDN'T CANCEL

IT-WHAT-WHY?"

THAT'S LIKE OUR WHOLE LIVES NOW.

I USED TO READ WHEN I WAS

ON THE TOILET.

NOW THAT'S WHEN I MAKE CUSTOMER

SERVICE CALLS.

THAT'S THE WAY I SPEND,

"HI, I'D LIKE TO ORDER A SHIRT

IN THE REEDD!"

AND THAT'S HOW I DO.

COMBINE TWO THINGS I HATE.

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR...

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS)

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