Godfrey - New York City Transit

  • Season 9 , Ep 4
  • 02/17/2005
  • Views: 26,650

There's a reason transit workers sit behind bulletproof glass. (2:54)

I JUST GOT OFF THE SUBWAY.

WHO RIDES THE TRAIN HERE?

WHO RIDES THE...

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]YEAH, IT'S NOT CUTE.

IT'S NOT CUTE.

THOSE PEOPLE IN THE BOOTH...

THAT'S WHY THAT BOOTH ISBULLETPROOF.

[LAUGHTER]THEY KNOW YOU LATE FOR A TRAIN.

THEY KNOW YOU'RE LATE.

THEY TAKE THEIR TIME WITHYOUR MONEY.

YOU GOING UP TO THE GLASS,YOU KNOW HOW YOU GO TO THE GLASS

AND TELL THEM, "HURRY UP WITH MYMETRO CARD, HURRY THE HELL UP!"

YOU GIVE 'EM THAT FACE.

[LAUGHTER]AND THEY KNOW, THEY'RE LIKE,

"AHHHH, HE'S LATE.

HMMM, I'LL COUNT HIS MONEYSLOWLY...

HMMM."

YOU LIKE WANT TO STICKYOUR MOUTH THROUGH THE SLOT,

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITHMY MONEY!

GIVE ME MY METRO CARD!"[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

THEN YOU RUN GOTTA CATCHTHE TRAIN.

CATCHING THE TRAIN IS SOMETHING,HUH?

YEAH, IT'S AN ACCOMPLISHMENT.

IT'S NOT A JOKE.

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU GOTTAGO DOWN THE STAIR.

THE TWO STAIR, NOT JUST ONE,I'M TALKING ABOUT THE TWO STAIR

LIKE-- THAT.

[LAUGHTER]AND YOU NEVER HAVE THE RIGHT

CLOTHES ON.

IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE THE NIKE"CHASE THE TRAIN" SHOES ON.

YOU ALWAYS GOT SOMETHING WEIRDLIKE A BAG AND A CAKE.

YOU ALWAYS GOTTA...

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]AND THERE'S, AND THERE'S ALWAYS

AN OLD PERSON.

THERE'S ALWAYS AN OLD PERSON.

NO, NO, NOT LIKE, "HI I'M 65I CAN STILL WALK."

NO, IT'S USUALLY LIKE "AAA,WHERE IS THE TRAIN?"

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!"[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

AND WHEN YOU CATCH THE TRAIN,YO, CATCHING THE TRAIN, WHAT?

WHEW, YOU FEEL GOOD AS HELL.

[LAUGHTER]NO, NO, NO, I'M SIL...

MAN... YOU DON'T JUST GET ONHEY... NO.

YOU CROSS IT LIKE YOU FINISHEDA SPRINT IN THE OLYMPICS!

"AHHHH."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]AND YOU DON'T SIT DOWN

RIGHT AWAY.

YOU GOTTA LET EVERYBODY KNOWYOU CAUGHT IT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]"I THINK I'LL START STRETCHING

OUT.

YEAH, CAUGHT THAT TRAIN, BOY.

KNOCKED DOWN AN OLD MANAND THE WHOLE THING, YA KNOW

WHAT I'M SAYING?"THEN YOU START FEELING STUPID

'CAUSE THE TRAIN HASN'T MOVEDYET.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]THEN YOU HEAR THAT ANNOUNCEMENT

"THIS TRAIN IS NOT IN SERVICE."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]"WE APPRECIATE YOUR RUN,

THAT WAS VERY GOOD.

I'M SURE YOU BROKE YOUR OWNRECORD, BUT UH GET THE HELL OFF

THE TRAIN.

THANK YOU."

[LAUGHTER]

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