Todd Lynn - Showers with Girlfriends

Lynn, Pedigo, Kader, Dunnigan Season 6, Ep 605 11/16/2002 Views: 5,924

Women hog all the hot water in the shower. (2:04)

'CAUSE I CAN'T GET ONE,

BECAUSE I'M-- YOU KNOW.

IT AIN'T 'CAUSE--

IT'S JUST I CAN'T GET THROUGH

THE BEGINNING OF RELATIONSHIPS,

THE PART WHERE YOU ACTUALLY HAVE

TO ACT LIKE YOU LIKE SOMEBODY.

YOU KNOW THE PART WHERE IT'S

"I LOVE YOU.

YOU LOVE ME.

WE LOVE EACH OTHER."

"NO!"

YOU KNOW WHY?

'CAUSE THAT'S THE PART WHERE YOU

END UP DOING THINGS WITH WOMEN

YOU'VE NEVER HAD ANY INTENTIONS

ON DOING IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

YOU GET IN THE SHOWER; THEY GET

IN THE SHOWER WITH YOU.

WOMEN, HERE'S A LITTLE ADVICE ON

THE GETTING IN THE SHOWER WITH

MEN.

"NO, NO, NO!"

YOU KNOW WHY WE HATE IT"

'CAUSE WE'LL NEVER GET WET.

'CAUSE WE END UP IN THE BACK OF

THE SHOWER WHY Y'ALL UP UNDER

THE HOT WATER.

WE'RE IN THE BACK PUTTING

DRY SOAP ON.

NOW WE'RE ITCHING ALL DAY.

THEN WHEN WE GET UP UNDER THE

WATER, YOU LIKE "IT'S COLD."

WELL, HOW THE HELL YOU THINK

I FELT BACK THERE?"

AND THEN ALL YOU DO IS SPEND

YOUR WHOLE TIME IN THE BACK OF

THE SHOWER DANCING AROUND HER

AND THE ONLY THING GETTING WET

IS YOUR FEET.

AND SHE HAS THE NERVE TO SAY,

"WOULD YOU DO YOUR BACK?"

"I CAN'T EVEN GET MY FRONT!"

AND NOW YOU DODGING THE SHAMPOO

AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES,

WHICH FELL IN THE TUB.

NOW YOU RIVER DANCING IN THE

TUB.

(LAUGHTER)

I HATE THAT.

I'M NOT A BIG, POLITICAL GUY.

I'M NOT A BIG, POLITICAL GUY.

I JUST--

YOU KNOW, I SEE THAT WHOLE

MIDDLE EASTERN SITUATION IN

ONE WAY.

LET ME PUT IT LIKE THIS.

FIRST, LET ME SAY A DISCLAIMER.

I DON'T WANT ANYBODY TO GET

UPSET AT ME.

JEWISH PEOPLE, I--

HEY, I'M A NICE GUY.

I LIKE Y'ALL.

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST

YOU.

BUT I LOOK AT IT LIKE ISRAEL

BEEN A COUNTRY 50 YEARS, RIGHT?

50?

YOU THINK THEY COULD HAVE PICKED

A BETTER PLACE TO PUT THEIR

COUNTRY.

NOT RIGHT SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF

30 MUSLIM COUNTRIES.

THAT'S LIKE ME GOING TO A

KLU KLUX KLAN MEETING AND

GETTING MAD ABOUT:

"Y'ALL AIN'T GOT NO FRUIT PUNCH

IN HERE?

AND WHY EVERYBODY IN HERE GOT ON

SHEETS BUT ME?

WHAT'S THE NAME OF THIS CLUB,

'THE BURNING CROSS'?

I AIN'T NEVER COMING BACK HERE?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THERE'S SOME REAL, UNDERLYING

RACIST THINGS GOING ON AROUND

HERE.

I JUST CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON

IT."

(LAUGHTER)

I'M TODD LYNN, Y'ALL.