Kurt Braunohler - Satellite Radio

Kurt Braunohler: Trust Me Season 1, Ep 1 03/04/2017 Views: 1,287

Kurt Braunohler loves the ultra-specific channels that satellite radio has to offer, with one major exception. (2:03)

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I love satellite radio. Causeevery channel is so specific.

I would listen to each one andbe like, who was this made for?

'Cause there's one channelthat's just called "The Pulse,"

and I think the pitchfor it was,

hey, when people ask you,what kind of music do you like,

you say, oh, I like all kindsof music.

But also, you stopped listeningto music in 2004?

Well, here's some Britney.

(laughter)

And then there's one channelthat's just the Grateful Dead.

Another channel,just Bruce Springsteen.

And then another channel that'sjust called Margaritaville,

which is supposed to beonly Jimmy Buffet,

but Buffet doesn't havea deep enough discography

to support 24/7 play,

so they're just like,if you like Buffet,

maybe you like this (bleep)ingbullshit, I don't know.

Like, hey, are youan old white man

who went to the Bahamas onceand loves island culture

but would preferto not not think

about the post-colonialsegregation and exploitation

of a native population

and instead want to focuson the burgers?

Well, here's some Eagles.

(applause)

Man, (bleep) Buffet!

Why is he always singingabout burgers?

The cow is the one animal

unsustainableon an island economy.

Every song should just be like,

♪ Do you like goat curryand goat curry? ♪

♪ Getting caught in goat curry

It's not even a Buffet song.

But no, seriously, (bleep)Buffet. Um...

I wanted to make bumper stickersthat say "(bleep) Buffet"

and so I Googled to seeif anybody had done that

and when you Google"(bleep) Buffet,"

a (bleep)ing buffet comes up.

And that's very upsetting,it's upsetting.

Um...

That's two types of images,that's a table full of buttholes

and then just a dude puttinghis dick in mashed potatoes.