Jim David - Politics

  • Season 4 , Ep 2
  • 12/10/2000
  • Views: 2,225

Jim David can't be a Democrat or Republican -- he likes making money and spending it on drugs. (1:53)

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M NOT POLITICAL ANYMORE.

I DON'T CARE.

I JUST DON'T CARE.

I COULDN'T BE A DEMOCRAT BECAUSE

I LIKE TO SPEND THE MONEY THAT

I MAKE.

AND I COULDN'T BE A REPUBLICAN

BECAUSE I LIKE TO SPEND

THE MONEY THAT I MAKE ON DRUGS

AND WHORES.

YOU KNOW, I'M NOT OVER HERE.

I'M RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE.

REALLY.

I BELIEVE IN CAPITAL PUNISHMENT.

AND SINCE I WAS A FORMER

TEACHER, I BELIEVE IN STARTING

IT AT THE 8th GRADE LEVEL.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT ANY OF

THEM SAY ANYMORE, DOES IT?

IT'S WHETHER OR NOT WE THINK

THEY'RE CUTE.

THAT'S HOW WE PICK 'EM.

YEAH.

THAT'S WHY THEY OUGHT TO FORGET

THE WHOLE ELECTION AND JUST HAVE

A FASHION SHOW.

"WELL, FIRST UP ON THE RUNWAY,

IT'S DADDY'S BOY,

GEORGE BUSH JR., SO HOT HE'S

BURNING A HOLE IN THE OZONE

IN HIS THOUSAND POINTS OF LIGHT

DALE EVANS DAY-GLO SWIMSUIT.

WHETHER IT'S COCKTAILS IN KENNEY

BUNGPORT OR A HOEDOWN IN

HOUSTON, GEORGE IS HOTTER THAN A

BURNING KUWAITI OIL FIELD.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

AND HERE'S PAT BUCHANAN,

THE ANTI-CHRIST TO THE EXTREME

RIGHT OF THE RUNWAY.

AMERICA'S FAVORITE FASHION

FASCIST IS PUTTING AMERICA FIRST

WITH HIS MUSSOLINI CAMOUFLAGE

COMBAT GEAR.

FROM FOR HETEROS ONLY,

BY ADOLFO HITLER.

AND LOOK!

IT'S BILLY CLINTON, THAT LITTLE

GUY FROM LITTLE ROCK,

SEXY AND SCANDALOUS IN HIS

ARKANSAS STATE TROOPER

GENNIFER FLOWERS LEGAL BRIEFS

WITH EXTRA MATERIAL FOR

UNIVERSAL COVERAGE.

AND, LOOK.

IT'S TIPPER GORE TIPPING

THE LIGHT FANTASTIC IN HER

TOPLESS TENNESSEE HOOP SKIRT

WITH PARENTAL ADVISORY PASTIES.

AND HERE'S THE GOVERNOR OF

NEW YORK, THAT WACKY LACKEY,

GEORGE PATAKI, IN HIS TACKY

KHAKIS BY BOB MACKIE.

AND LOOK WHO'S OUT OF POWER NOW.

IT'S NEWT GINGRICH, TOSSING

THOSE FAMILY VALUES ASIDE AND

SHOWING US HIS TRUE COLORS

IN HIS ROBERT MAPLE-THORP,

CATWOMAN, LEATHER DOMINATRIX

OUTFIT WITH MATCHING WHIP AND

STILETTO HEELS.

WHIP ME, BEAT ME.

TELL ME I'M CHEAP, NEWTS."

HEY, GUESS WHAT.

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