Rudy Rush - Guys Are Nasty

  • Season 8 , Ep 26
  • 05/27/2004
  • Views: 9,646

As they grow up, guys go through multiple stages of being nasty. (2:55)

NO, I KNOW I AM.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU KNOW LIKE-- I DON'T KNOW,

MAN, 'CAUSE LIKE WOMEN, Y'ALL

ALWAYS SAY THAT'S THE FIRST

THING.

YOU GUYS ARE SO NASTY.

SO, SO NASTY.

WE ALL ARE.

JUST APPRECIATE IT, YOU KNOW,

WE'RE DIFFERENT.

WOMEN, Y'ALL GET TO GROW INTO

YOUR HORMONES.

GUYS, WE'RE NASTY FROM THE DAY

WE'RE BORN.

[LAUGHTER]

COME ON, YOU EVER GO INTO YOUR

LITTLE BROTHER'S ROOM OR YOUR

SON'S ROOM.

THEY ALWAYS HUMPING ON

SOMETHING.

YOU'RE LIKE "WHAT THE HELL YOU

"NOTHING.

[LAUGHTER]

"PLAYING WITH MY TOYS."

"YOU LITTLE NASTY BASTARD."

[LAUGHTER]

AND GUYS, WE GO THROUGH STAGES

OF IT, DON'T WE?

WE DO.

REMEMBER-- THIS IS THE PERFECT

EXAMPLE.

FELLAS, REMEMBER WHEN YOU'RE

WERE ABOUT 14, 15.

EVERY GUY HAS THAT ONE FRIEND

THEIR MOTHER HAD, FINE AS I

DON'T KNOW WHAT.

SHE HAS NO HUSBAND, NO

BOYFRIEND, SHE ALWAYS COME BY

THE HOUSE.

ALWAYS TREAT YOU NICE.

NOW SHE'S ALWAYS FLIRTING WITH

YOU.

"HMMM.

GETTING NICE AND HANDSOME GOT

A LITTLE MOUSTACHE.

I'M GONNA START TAKING YOU OUT.

YOU'RE GONNA BE MY LITTLE

BOYFRIEND."

AND YOUR MOTHER SEES IT AS A

JOKE.

SO SHE'S PLAYING ALONG WITH IT.

SHE'S LIKE-- "YOU BETTER WATCH

OUT, MISS PAM GONNA GET SOME

OF THAT.

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT."

I'M LIKE, "I'M ABOUT TO START

HAVING SEX WITH YOUR FRIEND."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

SHE GOT ONE TIME TO SPEND THE

NIGHT, THAT ASS IS MINES.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

AND WOMEN, YOU GUYS ARE SO

SMART, BUT YOU ACT LIKE YOU

DON'T KNOW THAT WE'RE NASTY.

YOU THINK YOU GOT EVERYTHING

COVERED BUT YOU DON'T KNOW.

WE'RE NASTY ALL THE TIME EVEN

WHEN YOU GO OUT ON A FIRST DATE.

YOU EVER GO OUT ON A FIRST DATE,

LADIES?

THE GUY IS PERFECT, RIGHT?

WALKS YOU TO THE CAR, OPENS

YOUR DOOR.

WALKS ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE

STREET, PAYS FOR THE MEAL,

GOT GOOD CONVERSATION.

GOOD CAREER GOALS.

BUT RIGHT WHEN HE WALKS YOU TO

YOUR DOOR, YOU'RE LIKE--

"I HAD SUCH A GREAT TIME.

I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

THIS HAS BEEN GREAT."

WHAT DO GUYS SAY, LADIES?

"UMM...

I CAN'T COME IN FOR A MINUTE?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND Y'ALL TRY TO KEEP US OUT.

YOU'RE LIKE-- "NO, IT'S A LITTLE

TOO SOON I REALLY LIKE YOU.

IF YOU COME IN THINGS MIGHT

HAPPEN.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK I'M

THAT WAY."

AND GUYS, WE ACT LIKE WE ARE.

WE'RE LIKE, "YEAH, YEAH, TRUE,

TRUE.

UMM...

[LAUGHTER]

CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

LADIES, DO NOT LET US IN,

BECAUSE WE WILL GET SOME IF

YOU LET US IN THE HOUSE.

WE HAVE TRICKS.

COME ON, THERE'S A LOT OF

LADIES IN HERE HAD SEX QUICKER

THAN THEY ANTICIPATED.

COME ON.

LADIES, YOU GUYS BREAK DOWN AND

YOU GUYS BE LIKE-- ALL RIGHT,

GO AHEAD IN THE BATHROOM,

PUT ON A CONDOM.

FELLAS, WE GO IN THE BATHROOM,

LADY'S IN THE BED BUTT NAKED

LOOKING AT THE CEILING TALKING

TO THEMSELVES.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GONNA DO

IT THIS SOON."

[LAUGHTER]

AND GUYS, WE'RE IN THE BATHROOM,

LIKE, "[MANIACAL LAUGHTER].

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I AM EVIL."

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