Chris Gethard - Bonnaroo Drug Confessions Pt. 1

Chris Gethard Season 3, Ep 5 06/20/2014 Views: 23,331

While performing at a music festival in Tennessee, Chris Gethard decides to break his sobriety streak. (2:04)

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Two, I had not done drugsfor five years.

You'll notice a differencein language there.

I have not had alcohol.

I had not done drugs.

And then I got bookedto perform comedy

at a music festivalcalled Bonnaroo.

Some of you have heard of it.

For anybody whodoesn't know Bonnaroo,

it's a three-day festival.

It takes place every summerin Manchester, Tennessee.

Hippies love it.They all live in a big tent city

that's attached to it.

Very liberal place.Easy to get in trouble.

I did a show there witha whole bunch of my friends,

and it went really greatand we were psyched.

We wanted to celebrate.Some of my friends

are the types of people thatdo drugs every once in a while,

and they were sayingto each other,

"Maybe we should get mushrooms,maybe we should find some acid."

And one of them turned to meand was like, "Gethard,

what do you want to do?"And I was like,

"Well, you know, I've alreadygot, like, depression

"and anxiety stuff, like,I don't think I should mess

with my brain chemistrywith those hallucinogens."

And they were like,"That's... weird.

"We were kidding, man.We thought you were gonna say

"you wouldn't do any drugs,'cause we know you,

and you don't."

And I went...


"I only did it a couple times

"when I didmess around with drugs,

but I remember Ecstasybeing a really great time."

And they went, "Oh, well,

there's thisnew super Ecstasy now."

And I went, "What do you mean?"

And they said,"It's called MDMA."

And I said,"I've never heard of that."

And they said, "Sometimespeople call it Molly."

And I went, "Jay-Zreferences that in his songs."

And they said,"Yes. Congratulations,

you understand Jay-Z referencesslightly better now." And I was

like, "Well, if it'sgood enough for Jigga..."

So we wandered offinto the tent city

where the hippies live,

and I saw hippiessitting in front of a sign

that had a pot leaf on itand the word "Ask,"

and I walked up to them,and I said, "Ask what?"

And he said, "You need weed?"And I said, "I need Molly."

And he said, "Two tents down."

And it was that easy.

It was the easiestdrug deal ever.

So we bought the Molly.We went into a field.