Hari Kondabolu - Ethnic Needs

  • Season 1 , Ep 2
  • 01/15/2010
  • Views: 29,619

Apparently, people of ethnicity only need two things: hair relaxers and cocoa butter. (1:33)

AND HE'S LIKE, "HEY, MAN,WHERE ARE YOU FROM?"

SO I TOLD HIM,"I'M FROM QUEENS, NEW YORK."

(cheers and applause)RIGHT.

BUT WAIT.BUT WAIT.(laughter)

AND THEN HE'S LIKE, "NO, I MEANWHERE ARE YOU REALLY FROM?"

WHICH FOR THOSE OF YOUWHO DON'T KNOW,

THAT'S CODE FOR, "NO, I MEANWHY AREN'T YOU WHITE?

(laughter)

"I NOTICED YOUR SKINWAS A DIFFERENT COLOR THAN MINE.

"WHY? WHY THIS? WHY?PIGMENT!

"PIG-- WHY? ETHNIC!WHY-WHY THIS?

WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU?"

AND, UM, I WAS--I WAS OFFENDED, CLEARLY,

AND, UH, I WAS OFFENDEDBECAUSE THIS MAN HAD JUDGED ME

BASED ON THE COLOR OF MY SKIN

AND NOTBY MY MORE IMPORTANT QUALITIES,

WHICH, OF COURSE,

ARE THE SOFTNESSAND SMOOTHNESS OF MY SKIN.

(laughter)

TRAITSI HAVE CAREFULLY CULTIVATED

WITH THE EXTENSIVE USEOF COCOA BUTTER.

YES, HARI KONDABOLUUSES COCOA BUTTER.

JUST THE OTHER DAY,I WENT TO THE SUPERMARKET

TO GET SOME MORE COCOA BUTTER,WHEN I NOTICED THE COCOA BUTTER

HAD BEEN MOVEDTO THE "ETHNIC NEEDS" SECTION...(laughter)

OF MY SUPERMARKET.

AND, AT FIRST, I WAS HAPPY.I'M LIKE, "ETHNIC NEEDS.

"END OF POLICE BRUTALITY,MORE ACCESS TO HEALTH CARE,

MORE EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES.FINALLY."

NO, NO.(laughter)

JUST HAIR RELAXERSAND COCOA BUTTER, APPARENTLY.

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