Pete Holmes - Miracle Otter

Pete Holmes: Nice Try, The Devil Season 1, Ep 101 05/12/2013 Views: 29,552

No one ever really thinks about otters, but Pete Holmes has some questions about the aquatic mammal. (1:32)

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this to bed already, I wouldhave had it all figured out,

but I can't,because things keep happening

that make mequestion it, man.

Like, for example,recently,

a guy jumpedoff the Golden Gate Bridge,

to die.

Obvious.Not to celebrate life.

Not, like, "Things are great.Too high!"

It wasn't like that.

He jumped off to die.

And in the air, mid-fall,the guy realized

that he didn't want to die,called out to God,

and when he hit the water,

list--listento what I'm about to tell you.

When he hit the water,

an otter--are you listening?

You know that animalno one ever thinks about?

An otter swam up,pushed the man out of the water,

and saved his life.

That man said thatthat otter was sent by God.

Was it?

I don't know.

I got both interpretationsin my brain.

I got science guy going,"Yeah, right.

"That otter probably thoughtthe guy's feet were fish.

That otter killed a human babylater that very day."

But I want to believein that world

where God is up in heaven,and he goes,

"Someone's falling.Otter."

And the otter goes,"Got it."

And God is up in heaven--and I picture

the Burger King king.

That's my God.

You can have your God.

I got my God.

He's got the unmovingsmiling face, the crown,

the Whopper Jr.,up there watching.

Just like, "You want to live?Have it your way."

[laughter]