Lewis Black - Veterans

  • Season 2, Ep 0207
  • 05/24/2007
  • Views: 172,156

We can access three million vaginas in two minutes, but veterans can't get their checks. (2:08)

Tags:  Lewis Black

the Veterans Administrationcan't get the proper care

to the troops who are returning,

and those who are disabledaren't getting their checks,

sometimes as longas for two years.

And-And, um, President Bush said

he was gonna establisha commission--

this'll be the 50th commissionto deal with this--

to study whythis isn't happening.

And-And, uh,

uh, I... can tell you,

uh, why it's not happening.

It's 'cause...

they're not mailing the checks!

(laughter)

And they don't have

enough doctors, ass (bleep)!

So take the moneyfrom the study... (blabbers)

and hire a doctor!

(laughter)

The V.A.-- in orderto get a disabled check

if you're disabled-- the V.A.

doesn't have computers!

It's paperwork!

What century am I in?!

Are you kidding me?!

How is it possible?!

I can access three millionvaginas in two minutes...

(laughter)

(applause)

...and they

can't get the checkto the veteran on time?

They've done a crackerjack job,

the Democratsand the Republicans,

with alternative energy--that's working out really well.

I can guarantee,in your lifetime...

you ain't gonna see it.

I've waited 35 years for someform of alternative energy.

And we could have any kind ofalternative energy we want. Why?

'Cause we'rethe greatest country on Earth.

Except when it comesto getting (bleep) done.

We, uh, how... we could havefairy dust if we wanted it.

We have iPods, for God's sake.

We have iPods!

We made an iPod!

'Kay? And we can't have solarenergy, not even in Las Vegas,

where the sun is a footfrom your head?

(laughter)

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