Your gravestone doesn't haveto be factual.
You know that, right?
Your grave--that's yours.
Make sureyou take advantage of that.
Don't letsome uncreative relative
just put some schm--"Loving father."
You--that guycould have been a dick.
You don't even know.
I do want--that's--
If I get that,I wanna have just the little--
the tastefullittle rectangular,
flush with the groundheadstones.
Nothing fancy.Tasteful font.
It'll just say,
"Kyle Christian Kinane.
"Born December 23rd, 1976.
Died in your arms tonight."
[laughter and applause]
Quotes, "Must have beensomething you said."
Because listen, that's nota great joke, all right?
But it's the best oneyou're gonna read in a cemetery.
And where more do you needa laugh in this world?
Kyle Kinane's got you,even after death.
Kyle Kinane, A.D.'shere for you.
You're walking in there,it's a sad day,
maybe you just see that,
like, right there,peripheral vision,
walking in and you just--[laughs]
"Look at this.
"You see this?
"It's '80s lyrics.
"It's that song--
"♪ Died in your arms tonight
"Come here and look--She's not going anywhere.
"Come here and look at this.
"Oh, my God.That's funny.
"That is all right.I like that.
"No flowers,that's a sh--
"I'm sorry, I'm st--
"You don't get these today.
"You earned those today,buddy.
That is a funny joke."