Kyle Kinane - Gravestone Inscription

Kyle Kinane: Whiskey Icarus Season 1, Ep 1 11/24/2012 Views: 13,481

Some advice from Kyle Kinane: Take charge of your own headstone. (1:41)

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Your gravestone doesn't haveto be factual.

You know that, right?

Your grave--that's yours.

Make sureyou take advantage of that.

That's yours.

Don't letsome uncreative relative

just put some schm--"Loving father."

You--that guycould have been a dick.

You don't even know.

I do want--that's--

If I get that,I wanna have just the little--

the tastefullittle rectangular,

flush with the groundheadstones.

Nothing fancy.Tasteful font.

It'll just say,

"Kyle Christian Kinane.

"Born December 23rd, 1976.

Died in your arms tonight."

[laughter and applause]

Quotes, "Must have beensomething you said."

Because listen, that's nota great joke, all right?

But it's the best oneyou're gonna read in a cemetery.

And where more do you needa laugh in this world?

Kyle Kinane's got you,even after death.

Kyle Kinane, A.D.'shere for you.

You're walking in there,it's a sad day,

maybe you just see that,

like, right there,peripheral vision,

walking in and you just--[laughs]

"Look at this.

"You see this?

"It's '80s lyrics.

"This guy.

"It's that song--

"♪ Died in your arms tonight

"This guy.

"Come here and look--She's not going anywhere.

"Come here and look at this.

"Oh, my God.That's funny.

"That is all right.I like that.

"No flowers,that's a sh--

"I'm sorry, I'm st--

"You don't get these today.

"You earned those today,buddy.

That is a funny joke."