John Heffron - Girl Glitter

Soto, Colonna, Heffron, Harris Season 4, Ep 0412 02/10/2001 Views: 7,463

John wants to outlaw girl glitter. (2:04)

UH, PERFORMING AND STUFF LIKE

THAT, I WAS ON THE PHONE TALKING

TO THIS GIRL THAT I'M KINDA

DATING, NOT SURE REALLY,

HAVEN'T HAD THAT CONVERSATION

WITH HER YET.

AND, UH, I HAD ONE OF THOSE

CONVERSATIONS WITH HER THAT

I THINK MOST GUYS HAVE HAD WITH

THEIR LOVED DONE WHERE YOU'RE

CALLING JUST TO SAY HELLO,

AND APPARENTLY YOU'RE FIGHTING.

GUESS WE'VE BEEN FIGHTING FOR

THE LAST THREE DAYS NOW.

THE WORD HAS JUST BEEN PASSED

DOWN TO ME.

I'M NOT EVEN GONNA ASK WHY,

'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID

WRONG.

ALTHOUGH I HAVE A CLUE.

DO YOU WANNA HEAR IT?

HERE'S WHAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL

IN THIS COUNTRY.

READY?

STRIPPERS WHO WEAR THAT GIRL

GLITTER STUFF.

WHY, YOU ASK?

'CAUSE YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN AWAY

THE GLITTER.

"WHAT'S WITH ALL THE GLITTER ON

YOU?"

"UH, I WAS MAKING YOU A CARD.

(LAUGHTER)

I LEFT IT AT WORK.

GIVE IT TO YOU TOMORROW."

I'LL TELL YOU THIS, LADIES,

BECAUSE, OOH, I'M NOT DATING

ANY OF YOU.

SO I'LL TAKE THE BULLET FOR YOUR

FELLA.

MIGHT WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS.

GUYS DON'T WANNA TALK.

EVER.

(CHEERING)

WE USED IT UP THE FIRST NIGHT

WE MET YA.

(LAUGHTER)

I WAS ACTUALLY IN THIS

RELATIONSHIP AND I THOUGHT

SHE WAS GONNA BE THE ONE,

I REALLY THOUGHT, 'CAUSE I KINDA

WANTED TO GET MARRIED, TO GET MY

FIRST MARRIAGE OUT OF THE WAY.

AND IT DIDN'T WORK OUT.

AND WE WERE IN ONE OF THOSE

RELATIONSHIPS THAT BOTH OF US

NEEDED TO GET OUT OF,

BUT WE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO BREAK

UP BECAUSE BREAKING UP IS HARD

TO DO.

THAT'S WHY I WANT TO START A

COMPANY THAT'LL BREAK UP FOR

YOU.

YOU DON'T GOTTA DO NOTHIN'.

YOU HIRE US, SOMEBODY SHOWS UP

AT THEIR PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT

WITH LIKE A DELIVERY OUTFIT ON,

A CLIPBOARD.

"HEY, HOW YOU DOING?

ARE YOU RUTH?

HEY LOOK, IT'S NOT YOU,

IT'S HIM.

SIGN THIS."

(LAUGHTER)

YOU'RE DONE!

ACTUALLY, I HAD TO DO THE END OF