The Freakin' Weekend with Roy Wood Jr.

February 9, 2017 - Laura Jane Grace 02/09/2017 Views: 24,826

Roy Wood Jr. breaks down the most anticipated events of the weekend, including President Trump's golf outing with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and the Grammy Awards. (3:36)

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It's Thursday, people.

Which means it's ourlast show of the week.

Now, people say "daily"has to mean every day,

but we usealternative calendars.

Anyway, here to take a lookat what to expect

over the next few days,let's go out to Roy Wood Jr.,

with the Freakin' Weekend.

-♪ -(cheering, applause)

That was my weekend dance.

Look, Trevor,let's start local, man.

First thing's first,you got to forget about

the Tony Montana-sizemountains of snow outside,

'cause here in New Yorkit's about to be pretty cloudy,

because Fashion Weekhas designers blowing smoke

up each other's asses.

They'll be presentingtheir overpriced...

overprized clothing lines

that'll be, you know, beingreleased later this year.

It's real funny--they-they're optimistic that

there's still gonnabe a "later this year."

The world's gonna end by July.

Look, here's the thing,

Fashion Week is not the mostpopular event for black people,

mainly 'cause we can'tget away with wearing

crazy (bleep) like this.

Can't wear nothing like thatin the hood.

Uh, you got a-gota traffic cone on your head.

Who...

who does that?

'Cause I can tell youwhat's not gonna happen.

What's not gonna happenin the hood is somebody

coming up to you like, "Yo,dog, that's thought-provoking,

what you rocking...that ensemble."

No, they gonna look at youand be like, "This (bleep)

got a cone on his head!"

That's what they're gonna say.

You think I can'tpark on your face?

I can park on your faceanytime I want.

All right, all right, all right,let's-let's bring it back.

Let's make like old people.

Let's move down southto Florida, all right?

Now, down in Florida we got ahigh-pressure diplomacy system

that's pushing in from the east,

it's gonna make things prettybad, because President Trump

is scheduled to meet withthe Japanese prime minister.

They're gonna playa little bit of golf

at Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort.Now, listen here.

Japanese prime minister.And-and just, look...

Hel-Hello, Mr. Prime Minister.

Do us all a favor

and let Trump win, okay?Let him win,

'cause we don't need to deploymore troops to the Pacific

'cause you hit a hole in one.Miss a couple.

Miss a couple shots. I mean, youknow, maybe Shinzo will lose,

but, you know, with our luck,he'll turn out to be

a regular Masashi Ozakior, at the least,

a Hiroyuki Fujita.

Oh, I know what you thinking:

another black man talking aboutJapanese pro golf.

All right. All right.

I'll move on. I don't want tobeat you over the head with it.

I know my Japanese golf.

Now let's make likeKim Kardashian and go out west.

West side.

Out here in Los Angelescelebrities are getting ready

for the Grammys this Sunday,

and it's gonna bea beautiful performance.

We got people like Adele,Bruno Mars, Beyoncé.

Chance the Rapper'sgonna be performing.

That's my pickfor best new artist.

He's got to do it. And ju-justas an aside, 'cause you...

Chance, you-you...you're big enough now.

You're popular enough--just go by Chance.

We all know you're the Rapper.

All right, nobody'sgetting you confused

with Chance the Jazz Flutist.

F-Flautist."Flautist" is stupid.

I'm not say...I refuse to say "flautist."

Look, just get ridof "the rapper,"

'cause it's gonna make it hardfor you to switch careers later.

Well, uh, hello, ma'am,

I'm Chance the Rapperthe Financial Advisor.

It's too much, bro.It's way too much, bro.

That's all the timeI got for you, Trevor.

I'm Roy Wood Jr.That's the Freakin' Weekend.

-(cheering, applause)-Thank you, Roy.

Roy Wood Jr., everybody.