Maria Bamford - Dr. Junk Food

  • Season 11 , Ep 10
  • 02/15/2007
  • Views: 26,951

Food-obsessed doctors always have a secret stash of junk food. (1:20)

I'M ALWAYS GETTIN' ASKED, YOU KNOW, AS A COMEDIENNE,

YOU KNOW-- "WHEN-- WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO BE ON TV?

COME ON, WHEN-- WHEN--" I DON'T KNOW WHENI'M GOING TO BE ON TV.

"WELL, COOL. WHEN ARE YOU GONNA BE ON TV?"

I'M RIGHT HERE. YOU KNOWIF YOU PUT YOUR HANDS LIKE THIS,

IT'S KIND OF LIKE I'M ON TV, RIGHT?

IS THAT PRETTY GOOD? IS THAT GOOD?

"OH, COME ON. WHEN ARE YOU GONNA BE ON TV?"

"DAD--" "[SNORING LOUDLY]."

[GRUNTING] MY DAD'S REALLY JUST A SERIES OF SOUND EFFECTS.

[DEEP GRUNTING, HEAVY SNORING]

[WHEEZING, SNORING-WHEEZING]

EVERYTHING OKAY OVER THERE, DAD?"WHO? YEAH." [GARGLING NOISE]

MY DAD, HE'S A DOCTORSO HE'S VERY SUCCESSFUL.

BUT HE'S OBSESSED WITH FOOD.

MY MOM HAS HIM ON A HEART HEALTHY DIET.

SO HE'S ALWAYS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS SECRET STASHES

WITH ALL THESERIOUSNESS OF A "POW."

"HEY, KID, [SNORING, GARGLING] I GOT SOME POWDERED DONUTS.

YEAH. THEY'RE IN THE FREEZER UNDERNEATH THE VEGETABLE CRAP."

"JOE, WHAT ARE YOU WHISPERING ABOUT?

YOU HAVE GOT POWDERED SUGAR ALL OVER YOUR FACE."

- "AH, [BLEEP]. RUN, KID. RUN!" - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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