You ever boughta plunger?
That's an embarrassingpurchase.
At first you thinkit's no big deal.
Standin' in line.
And then you realizeeverybody knows.
You got a situationat home.
Nobody buys a plungeron a whim, okay?
Tropical fruitSkittles, maybe.
Plunger-- No--Not happening.
People in linejudging you like, "oh.
"I bet he likesthe fast food."
I'm used to beingembarrassed.
I was in the marchingband in High School.
Anybody elsego that route?
- What'd you play?
That's, uh, that'sa tough call.
I played the bass drum--Those are not sexy instruments.
How many people inyour marching band?
Hundred and fifty.
We had 17in mine.
You know howembarrassing that is?
Our rival school, Running Mass,had 170 and a flag core,
the girlswith the flags.
We had one girl, shewaved a white flag.
They used to come on ourturf like red coats like--
We came in likeCharlie Brown like--
Like just bumping into eachother like, "Get out of the way!
"Go around--Go around!"
Seventeen people, wecouldn't make it happen.
Would you getmade fun of?
Yeah, of courseyou did.
It's not like you'regonna fight back, though.
You're wearin' acummerbund, and a plume.
You gota French horn.
Even me, Ihad a mallet.
You can't go withsomeone with a mallet.
It's embarrassing--You can't fight, you know?
My remedy, I used to justthrow words at people.
If they make fun of me, I'djust throw somethin' back
like, if they said somethin'to me I'd be like,
"that's a onomatopoeia!"
And I'd walk away.
No one knows whatthat word means.
You knowwhat I mean?
They would be like,"What's an onomatopoeia?"
The other thing to do if you getmade fun of, to get out of it,
is list a date fromhistory and a false event.
People have no ideahow to respond to that.
Can you make funof me real quick?
- Uh, nice sweatshirt.
- What is this 1755?
[audience laughing and applause]
Everyone around him is gonna belike, "what was the incarnation?
"What happenedin 1755?"