Ron Babcock - Beard or No Beard

  • Season 1 , Ep 7
  • 12/12/2013
  • Views: 1,540

Ron Babcock doesn't have many options when it comes to his facial hair. (1:02)

[cheers]

OH, ALL RIGHT.

YEAH, I LIKE IT.

BUT I'M AFRAIDTO LET IT GROW TOO LONG,

'CAUSE IF IT GROWSTOO LONG,

IT'S NO LONGER A BEARD,

BUT A HALLMARKOF DEPRESSION.

BUT I'VE FIGURED OUTWHEN TOO LONG IS TOO LONG.

IT'S WHEN THE COMMENTSON YOUR BEARD GO

FROM OVERWHELMINGLY POSITIVETO OVERWHELMINGLY OBSERVATIONAL,

WHEN "HEY, I REALLY LIKEYOUR BEARD"

TURNS INTO"HEY, A BEARD."

AND I'M JEALOUSOF WOMEN,

'CAUSE YOU CAN TOGO A SALON,

GET BANGS,AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

BUT ME, ALL I CAN DO IS EITHERBEARD OR NO BEARD.

I CAN'T SHAVE IT DOWNTO A GOATEE,

'CAUSE I DID THAT ONCE,

AND IT MADE ME LOOK LIKEA RAPIST THAT RAPED RAPISTS.

AND I CAN'T SHAVE IT DOWNTO A MUSTACHE,

'CAUSE I DID THAT ONCE,

AND A VERY LARGE WOMAN STOPPEDME ON THE STREET AND SAID,

"UH, YEAH,YOU SHOULD SHAVE THIS,"

AND WALKED AWAY.

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