Nate Bargatze - Remedial Classes

Nate Bargatze: Full Time Magic Season 1, Ep 101 05/02/2015 Views: 1,968

Nate Bargatze reminisces about his very short tenure at a community college. (1:43)

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I went to community collegefor one year.

[person claps]Do--yeah.

A couple of us?Just me and this guy.

That's--did you go for longerthan a year?

Or one year too?

Or did you go to real college?

Couple years.

Oh, all right.

Valedictorian over here,jeez.

[laughter]

Just...

I-I made it one.

And what's even moreembarrassing--

that I do not have a credit.

Literally, I do not have--I have zero credits.

Do you have credits?

You got credits,like, all of 'em?

Did you graduatecommunity college?

You think you're better than me?

No, just--I just started to attack.

He's like, "I don't know."

It's easy, I think, to graduate.Like, I--you know--

My loan was $40.

I just paid cash.

That's all.

I was like, "This is good."

He was like,"That's more than enough."

I was all remedial classes,

which, remedial,you know, it's like,

they just--they don't count.

None of 'em count,so all my classes were outside.

Every one was outside.

We wouldn't even meetinside the building.

We would just meetat a picnic table outside,

'cause our teacher was like,

"Well, you guyswill all be working outside."

[laughter]

"We're gonna teach youabout weather, you know,

"and, like, we're gonnateach you about morning dew,

"how to get your socks wet.

"You're gonna be getting uppretty early

"the rest of your life.

"I hope you guys like sunrises,

because you're gonna seea lot of 'em."

That's what remedial classesare for.

They're a heads-up thatyou're gonna do manual labor.

The assignments--our teacher'd be like,

"All right,so today's assignment is,

we're gonna help me move,so..."

[laughter and applause]