Blacklash 2016: The Unblackening - The FBI Exonerates Hillary Clinton

July 5, 2016 - Michael Ian Black 07/05/2016 Views: 1,072

The FBI recommends that no charges be brought against Hillary Clinton for her email activity, but Bill Clinton's meeting with Attorney General Loretta Lynch raises eyebrows. (4:29)

Yes, all right.

Man!(whoops)

Look at this crowd.

Thank you very much.Thank you very much.

Welcome to The Nightly Show.

I am Larry Wilmore.

Thank you for coming, guys.

Hope you guys hada nice Fourth of July,

uh, yesterday, or as we call ithere, White Juneteenth.

-Just something, uh...-(audience laughter)

Oh, there are a lotof Juneteenth fans, ah.

People are like, "Juneteenth?"

Google it, guys.

Or Black Google it, um,

Bloogle it, if you will,what it is.

Uh, you know what?So let's check in

with the red, whiteand blue attempts

to unblacken the White House.

13: According to a new poll,that's the percentage of people

who would rather seea giant meteor hit the earth

than see either Donald Trumpor Hillary Clinton

be elected president.

(laughter)

To be fair, to be fair,

Giant Meteor did pickElizabeth Warren

as its running mate.

To be fair.

People love her.

People do love her.

But speakingof extinction-level events,

the Clinton campaign avoideda big one earlier today

when the FBI wrapped upits investigation

into Hillary's e-mail scandal.

All right, FBI,what are your findings?

That the American peopleare sick and tired

of hearingabout your damn e-mails.

Wow.

(applause)

Wow.

Ooh.

I guess that's it.Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm told that's not the FBI.

I'm sorry.(chuckles)

All right, this is the FBI.

We cannot find a casethat would support

bringing criminal chargeson these facts.

We are expressing to justiceour view that no charges

are appropriate in this case.

(cheering and applause)

Yay.

(tired):Yay.

(laughter)

Bec... because in this cycle,scraping just below

the bare minimum for criminalitycounts as electable.

(applause)

All right.

Whatever.

Okay.

So, what exactlydid the FBI find?

There is evidence thatthey were extremely careless

in their handlingof very sensitive,

highly classified information.

Our secretary of statewas extremely careless.

(laughter)

Okay?

That's bad news if Hillarywants to be president,

but great news if she wants

her own multi-cam sitcom.

(laughter)

I think.

Anyway, the FBI notrecommending charges,

it's actually great newsfor the Clinton campaign,

and for once, I mean, you know,this, at least this doesn't have

that Clinton stink on it, right?

NEWSWOMAN: Her interview came after days of controversy

over a private meeting between former President Bill Clinton

and Attorney General Loretta Lynch.

Both have said they regret the meeting.

(sighs)

Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, excuse me.

Just adding Loretta Lynchto my list of women

who regret privately meetingwith Bill Clinton.

-(laughter)-(muttering)

-(cheers and applause)-(muttering)

All right, please tell me,how did this happen?

Mr. Clinton got wordthat her plane was coming in.

He delayed. He was running late.

He stopped and waited for herto come onto the tarmac,

then privately metwith her for 30 minutes.

Well, he waited for her plane?

And what, he justtraipses across the tarmac

and, like, climbs aboard?

(like Bill Clinton): "Hey,hey, is that Loretta's plane?"

(laughter)

"Well, you know,I got to find out

"what's going on with her kids.

"Keep the engine running.

"I'll be right back.

"Yo, Loretta!

"Loret... come over, yeah.

"Park it over there. Yeah.

"No, not you, JetBlue.

You over there.You over there."

How's that work?

Okay, all right,here's the problem.

Because of Bill's meddling,Hillary doesn't even get

to really put the e-mail scandalbehind her, right?

'Cause it will always havea thin sheen

of Clinton corruption on it,

which is different from athin sheen of Sheen corruption.

(laughter)

If you've got a thin sheenof Sheen on you,

see a doctor immediately,is all I'm saying.

-(laughter)-You know? Mm.