Yes, all right.
Look at this crowd.
Thank you very much.Thank you very much.
Welcome to The Nightly Show.
I am Larry Wilmore.
Thank you for coming, guys.
Hope you guys hada nice Fourth of July,
uh, yesterday, or as we call ithere, White Juneteenth.
-Just something, uh...-(audience laughter)
Oh, there are a lotof Juneteenth fans, ah.
People are like, "Juneteenth?"
Google it, guys.
Or Black Google it, um,
Bloogle it, if you will,what it is.
Uh, you know what?So let's check in
with the red, whiteand blue attempts
to unblacken the White House.
13: According to a new poll,that's the percentage of people
who would rather seea giant meteor hit the earth
than see either Donald Trumpor Hillary Clinton
be elected president.
To be fair, to be fair,
Giant Meteor did pickElizabeth Warren
as its running mate.
To be fair.
People love her.
People do love her.
But speakingof extinction-level events,
the Clinton campaign avoideda big one earlier today
when the FBI wrapped upits investigation
into Hillary's e-mail scandal.
All right, FBI,what are your findings?
That the American peopleare sick and tired
of hearingabout your damn e-mails.
I guess that's it.Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm told that's not the FBI.
All right, this is the FBI.
We cannot find a casethat would support
bringing criminal chargeson these facts.
We are expressing to justiceour view that no charges
are appropriate in this case.
(cheering and applause)
Bec... because in this cycle,scraping just below
the bare minimum for criminalitycounts as electable.
So, what exactlydid the FBI find?
There is evidence thatthey were extremely careless
in their handlingof very sensitive,
highly classified information.
Our secretary of statewas extremely careless.
That's bad news if Hillarywants to be president,
but great news if she wants
her own multi-cam sitcom.
Anyway, the FBI notrecommending charges,
it's actually great newsfor the Clinton campaign,
and for once, I mean, you know,this, at least this doesn't have
that Clinton stink on it, right?
NEWSWOMAN: Her interview came after days of controversy
over a private meeting between former President Bill Clinton
and Attorney General Loretta Lynch.
Both have said they regret the meeting.
Uh, excuse me.
Just adding Loretta Lynchto my list of women
who regret privately meetingwith Bill Clinton.
-(cheers and applause)-(muttering)
All right, please tell me,how did this happen?
Mr. Clinton got wordthat her plane was coming in.
He delayed. He was running late.
He stopped and waited for herto come onto the tarmac,
then privately metwith her for 30 minutes.
Well, he waited for her plane?
And what, he justtraipses across the tarmac
and, like, climbs aboard?
(like Bill Clinton): "Hey,hey, is that Loretta's plane?"
"Well, you know,I got to find out
"what's going on with her kids.
"Keep the engine running.
"I'll be right back.
"Loret... come over, yeah.
"Park it over there. Yeah.
"No, not you, JetBlue.
You over there.You over there."
How's that work?
Okay, all right,here's the problem.
Because of Bill's meddling,Hillary doesn't even get
to really put the e-mail scandalbehind her, right?
'Cause it will always havea thin sheen
of Clinton corruption on it,
which is different from athin sheen of Sheen corruption.
If you've got a thin sheenof Sheen on you,
see a doctor immediately,is all I'm saying.
-(laughter)-You know? Mm.