Johnny Sanchez - Height Prejudice

  • Season 3 , Ep 13
  • 08/31/2000
  • Views: 3,574

It's tough being short. (3:12)

ANOTHER THING ISTHAT I'M SHORT, RIGHT?

I'M STARTING TO REALIZETHAT THERE'S ANOTHER PREJUDICE

IN THIS COUNTRYFOR SHORT MEN.

THIS COUNTRY THRIVESON HEIGHT FOR MEN.

I'VE STARTED TO REALIZETHE DIFFICULTY.

I'LL GO TO NIGHTCLUBSTO MEET WOMEN,

YOU KNOW,TRY TO MEET THEM THERE,

BUT IT DOESN'T WORKFOR SHORT GUYS.

THERE'S CERTAIN WAYS--

I'M NOT GOING TO MEET A WOMANIN A CLUB EVER.

FOR ME, I CAN NEVER MEET A WOMANACROSS A CROWDED ROOM.

[laughter]

LIKE, I MAKE EYE CONTACTFOR JUST A SECOND.

YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE,"WHAT'S UP? WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHERE'D SHE GO?EXCUSE ME."

YOU KNOW,I GOT TO GET HELP.

Fffffft--

"I'M UNDER THE FLARE."

[laughter]

WE'RE DOING THAT STUPID--"MARCO." "POLO."

"ALL RIGHT,SHE'S OVER HERE SOMEWHERE."

"MARCO!"

IT'S TOUGH BEING--IT'S TOUGH BEING SHORT, TOO.

ANOTHER THING, TOO,

MOST SHORT GUYS HAVE THE CHIPON THEIR SHOULDER.

THERE'S A LOTOF SHORT GUYS--

EVERYBODY KNOWS HOW THESHORT GUYS ARE READY TO POUND.

EVERYBODY KNOWS ONE.

YOU KNOW, HE'S JUST READYTO BLOW AT ANY TIME.

I MEAN, ALTHOUGH HE'S A FRIENDOR A FAMILY MEMBER,

YOU KNOW,LITTLE SHORT COCKY GUY,

YOU KNOW, ALWAYS WALKS AROUND

LIKE THE CHICKEN HAWKON BUGS BUNNY--

[laughter]

WELL, DATING STUFF,YOU KNOW.

ONCE YOU DO MEET GIRLS--I GOT TO BE A LITTLE PICKY.

TALL GUYS CAN DATEWHO THEY WANT:

SHORT, AVERAGE, TALL.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?THIS IS MY TALL GIRLFRIEND.

I'M TALL TOO.WHAT'S GOING ON?"

I GOT TO BE A LITTLE PICKY.

I'M NOT GOING TO BEONE OF THOSE SHORT GUYS

THAT DATES A REALLY TALL WOMAN,'CAUSE IT'S HARD TO LOOK COOL.

YOU NEVER SEE A SHORT GUYWALK UP TO HIS TALL GIRLFRIEND,

PUT HIS ARM AROUND HER,AND STILL LOVE SUAVE.

YOU NEVER SEE SOME GUY,"YEAH, BABY.

YEAH, WHAT'S GOING ON, GIRL?YEAH, WHAT'S UP, GIRL?"

[laughter]

"GIVE ME A KISS, BABY.

"THAT'S MY GIRL RIGHT HERE.

GIVE ME A HIGH-FIVE, BABY.WHAT'S UP? YEAH."

[laughs]

IT'S NOT THE SAME;IT'S NOT AS COOL.

I EVEN THINK CLOTHES LOOK BETTERON TALL GUYS.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE NOTICED?

TALL GUYS CAN WEAR THOSELONG TRENCH COATS AND LOOK COOL.

YOU EVER SEE THEM?

I THINK IT LOOKS AWESOME,ALWAYS WALKING AROUND.

YOU KNOW, THEY TURN AROUND;IT'S LIKE FLAILING IN THE WIND.

"DAMN, THAT'S COOL.

MAN, I'M GOINGTO GET ME ONE, RIGHT?"

[laughter]

STOP IT.

STILL DON'T GETNO RESPECT UP HERE.

BUT I WENT--THE HEIGHTMAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

I THINK IT MAKESALL THE DIFFERENCE.

A TALL GUY PUTS IT ON; HEWALKS AROUND WITH A TRENCH COAT.

HE LOOKS LIKE WYATT EARPOR SOMETHING COOL LIKE THAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE?I LOOK LIKE THE HAMBURGLER.

IT'S LIKE, "RUBBLE. RUBBLE.RUBBLE. RUBBLE. RUBBLE."

THERE'S NO FLAILING.

I WAS SWEEPING THE FLOOR.

AND I THINK ANOTHER THING, TOO,WITH THE--

WITH ALSO DATING WOMEN--

SOMETIMES IF YOU'RE TOO SHORTAND A WOMAN'S TOO TALL,

SEXUALLY,YOU CAN'T DO EVERY POSITION,

LIKE STANDING UP.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S JUSTWAY TOO MUCH WORK FOR ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?I'M SORT OF--

[applause]

ALL RIGHT.

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