Frank Caliendo - Voices

  • Season 8 , Ep 4
  • 02/05/2004
  • Views: 24,581

Frank Caliendo: IT'S BEEN

PRETTY COOL, 'CAUSE I'VE

GOTTEN TO MEET SOME PEOPLE

I DO IMPRESSIONS OF.

LENO CAME UP TO ME.

HE'S LIKE, "SO, WAS THAT YOU

DOING ME ON MAD TV?

YEAH, THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.

THAT WAS REAL GOOD.

JAY LENO'S THE ONLY GUY ON

EARTH WHO COULD HAVE A BOBBLE

HEAD MADE OF HIM THAT WOULD

BOBBLE LESS THAN HIS ACTUAL

HEAD.

[LAUGHTER]

AND HE COLLECTS CARS.

I THINK HE JUST SITS IN THE

DASHBOARD GOING, "THIS IS GONNA

BE A FUN RIDE.

HERE WE GO."

[LAUGHTER]

THERE'S SO MANY COOL VOICES

OUT THERE.

I THINK THAT'S 'CAUSE THERE ARE

SO MANY PEOPLE.

[LAUGHTER]

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER HAS A

COOL VOICE.

THAT VOICE USUALLY WHEN HE

ASKS A QUESTION, THAT COOL

VOICE, THAT-- "VAT YOU DOING?

WHO ARE YOU?"

HE CAN ASK ANY QUESTION.

IT SOUNDS COOL, LIKE,

"WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HAIR?

DO YOU WANNA TOUCH MY BICEP?

WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY

BELLY BUTTON?"

YOU EVER HEAR SCHWARZENEGGER

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,

LAUGH, CRY, RUN AWAY, FIND

SHELTER.

HE STARTS SCREAMING, HIS FACE

GETS ALL CONTORT--

"THERE'S A FIRE."

THERE'S A WHAT?

"THERE'S A FIRE.

GET DOWN."

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

"YELLING.

THAT'S HOW I YELL."

WHY ARE YOU YELLING?

"THERE'S A FIRE."

AT THAT POINT, EVEN

MIKE TYSON'S GOING, "I CAN'T

BELIEVE SUCH A BIG GUY HAS

SUCH A FUNNY VOICE."

[LAUGHTER]

TYSON GOT PULLED OVER A FEW

MONTHS AGO OR A YEAR AGO OR

TEN OR 12 YEARS AGO, I'M NOT

SURE HOW LONG AGO, 'CAUSE

I DON'T UPDATE MY ACT.

"HERE'S A GUY WHO'S HONEST.

[LAUGHTER]

IF HE WASN'T HONEST, HE'D

NEVER BE A REAL BOY.

HE'D GET SWALLOWED BY A WHALE

AND GEPETTO WOULD GET MAD,

THE CRICKET WOULD SING DISNEY

SONGS AND--" "OH, WHAT TANGLED

WEBS ARE WOVEN WHEN FIRST WE

PRACTICED DECEPTION AND--

CHARLOTTE DIES BUT WILBUR

LIVES ON FOREVER.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THE END."

[LAUGHTER]

WELL, YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN

WONDERFUL.

AH...

[LAUGHS]

I DON'T--

YOU GUYS ARE JUST LAUGHING

AT ME NOW, AREN'T YOU?

[LAUGHTER]

"I STILL DON'T KNOW WHO

JOHN MADDEN IS AND BUNNY FOO FOO

IS A STUPID SONG."

PEOPLE THINK I LOOK LIKE A LOTTA

DIFFERENT PEOPLE, DON'T SAY

ANYTHING YET.

SOME PEOPLE THINK I LOOK LIKE

JOHN GOODMAN 'CAUSE I'M SO TALL.

I WAS AT A ALL-WOMEN'S COLLEGE

IN-- WHO CARES WHERE IT WAS?

THEY THOUGHT I LOOKED LIKE

THE REAL-LIFE VERSION OF

BARNEY RUBBLE.

[LAUGHS]

"YEAH, FRED, I GOT YOUR FRUITY

PEBBLES."

"BARNEY, THOSE AREN'T MY

FRUITY PEBBLES."

"OH, [BLEEP]."

[LAUGHTER]

BRAD PITT, TOM CRUISE,

TO SMASH THEIR HEADS TOGETHER.

WIPED AWAY THE BLOOD RIGHT HERE.

JOHN BELUSHI, THINK I LOOK LIKE

JOHN BELUSHI?

IF YOU'RE A NAYSAYER, HOLD ON,

JOHN BELUSHI.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW

HOW I FIGURED THAT ONE OUT.

[LAUGHTER]

SOMETIMES, PEOPLE SAY

CHRIS FARLEY JUST 'CAUSE THEY

WHAT'S AMAZING ABOUT

CHRIS FARLEY HE HAD A MOVIE

THAT CAME OUT AFTER HE

PASSED AWAY.

A FEW MONTHS LATER, HE'S IN

NORM MCDONALD'S MOVIE.

CAN YOU IMAGINE IF THAT KEPT

HAPPENING, FARLEY KEPT SHOWING

UP IN MOVIES, BE LIKE A TUPAC

KINDA THING?

THIRTEEN YEARS LATER, YOU'RE

GOING TO SEE ADAM SANDLER IN

IN SOME MOVIE, THE PREVIEW

COMES UP BEFORE IT.

"IN A MOVIE KEPT SO TOP SECRET,

EVEN HIS FRIENDS NEVER KNEW IT

WAS MADE.

THIS SUMMER, THE LEGEND LIVES

ON, BECAUSE CHRIS FARLEY IS...

TBATMAN."

"OH, MY FREAKING GORDE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I AM THE CAPED CRUSADER.

I LURK IN THE SHADOWS,

I'M A CREATURE OF THE NIGHT,

AND I HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF WHAT

YOU'D CALL A WEIGHT PROBLEM."

"WITH PAULY SHORE AS ROBIN."

AH-AH-HA-HA, I'M THE WEASEL.

"YOU'RE A LITTLE CRAZY, MAN.

I'M GONNA GET MOTIVATIONAL

ON YOUR ASS.

YOU MIGHT THINK YOU KNOW WHAT

YOU'RE DOING.

YOU'RE UP THERE--

[GRUNTING]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WELL, LET ME TELL YOU THIS,

SIR.

YOU DON'T KNOW DICK WAD!"

THANK YOU GUYS VERY MUCH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

COMEDY CENTRAL.

Captioned By

mCCaptioning Services.

Reseda, California.

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