Joe DeRosa - Tampon Commercials

Season 9 , Ep 911 02/10/06 Views: 4,400

Joe DeRosa doesn't want anything to do with tampons. (2:10)

THERE IS ATAMPON COMMERCIAL ON TV.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE SEEN IT.

IT'S A GUY AND A GIRLIN A ROWBOAT ON A DATE.

- [LAUGHTER] - OH, GOOD.

SOME OF YOU HAVE SEEN IT. GOOD.BOAT SPRINGS A LEAK. THEY PANIC.

GIRL GOES, "DON'T WORRY." PUTS A TAMPON IN THE HOLE.

LADIES, LISTEN TO ME CLEARLY,

IF YOU'VE GOT A SITUATION GOING ON

WHERE YOU NEED SOMETHINGTHAT CAN STOP THE LEAK

ON A FRIGGING BOAT, THE DATE IS OVER.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE GOING ON DOWN THERE,

BUT I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT

BECAUSE I CAN'T SWIM. SO THAT'S A...

GIRLS, GET THE TAMPON COMMERCIALS OFF TV, PLEASE.

YOU DON'T NEED THEM. YOU KNOW WHAT THE PRODUCT IS.

YOU KNOW WHERE TO BUY IT. YOU KNOW WHAT IT DOES. OKAY?

THERE'S NO GIRL IN THIS ROOM THAT FREAKS ON ONCE A MONTH

LIKE, "OH MY GOD. WHAT'S HAPPENING?

"PLEASE SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT TO BUY FOR THIS PLEASE.

- OH MY GOD!" - [LAUGHTER]

I'M NEVER GETTIN' MARRIED. THAT'S FINE.

MARRIED PEOPLE IN THEAUDIENCE, DO ME A FAVOR.

STOP HANGING OUT WITH YOUR SINGLE FRIENDS, OKAY?

YOU'RE MARRIED NOW.YOU HAVE YOUR SEX RIGHTTHERE IN THE HOUSE.

YOU CAN DO DUMB CORNY STUFF THATWE CAN'T AFFORD TO DO. OKAY?

MY MARRIED FRIENDS HAVE THEME PARTIES.

AND THEY WANT ME, A SINGLE GUY, TO COME AND HANG OUT.

"DUDE, COME OVER ON SATURDAY. WE'RE HAVIN' A PIRATE PARTY.

WE'RE ALL GONNA DRESS UP LIKE PIRATES. DOESN'T MATTER TO ME.

I'M GETTIN' LAIDAT THE END OF THE NIGHT,

BUT I WANNA WATCH YOU TRY TO SCORE

WITH A PEG LEG AND AN EYE PATCH ON."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"I'LL BE AT HOME PRETENDING TO BE GAY FOR THE NIGHT.

THANKS FOR INVITING ME."

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