Uncensored - Greg Fitzsimmons - Too Good of a Mother

Greg Fitzsimmons: Life on Stage Season 1, Ep 0101 08/18/2013 Views: 6,759

Greg Fitzsimmons is happily married, but his son is determined to change that. (1:07)

>> I'M MARRIED, VERY, VERY

HAPPILY MARRIED.

I'VE GOT A BEAUTIFUL, SMART

WIFE, WHO I JUST AM IN LOVE

WITH, AND SHE'S A GREAT MOTHER.

[applause]

THANK YOU. I KNOW.

A LOT OF THE WOMEN A LITTLE BIT

UPSET, BUT SHAKE IT OFF.

THAT'S MY WIFE.

MAYBE TOO GOOD OF A MOM

SOMETIMES.

LIKE, SHE BREAST-FED MY SON FOR

TWO YEARS, AND THAT'S FUCKED UP.

[laughter]

SIX MONTHS IS A NICE BONDING

PERIOD, AND AFTER THAT, IT'S

LIKE, "OKAY, SOMEBODY'S

COCK-BLOCKING DADDY.

WRAP IT UP."

[laughter]

'CAUSE YOU'RE PISSED.

THOSE ARE YOUR TITS.

YOU DON'T GET MORE.

THOSE ARE YOURS, AND NOW HE'S

SUCKING ON THEM.

HE KNOWS YOU'RE MAD.

HE'S STARING AT ME.

[suckling]

[laughter]

[laughter and applause]

I CATCH HIM WORKING HIS HAND ON

THE OTHER TIT.

I'M LIKE, "WHAT IS THAT?

THE HAND ON THE OTHER--HE'S

MOCKING ME."

[laughter]

HARD TO BE ROMANTIC WITH YOUR

WIFE WHEN EVERY TIME YOU GO TO

BED, THERE'S YOUR SON PASSED OUT

DRUNK ON TIT MILK.

[laughter]