Weight Listing - I Dream of George Costanza

  • Season 1 , Ep 01031
  • 03/03/2014
  • Views: 457

The comedians are given two message board titles from Bodybuilding.com and must decide which one is a real post. (2:56)

WEIGHT LISTING.

WEIGHT LISTING.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

SO I FEEL LIKE MAYBE ONLY ONE

OF US IN THIS GROUP MIGHT

ACTUALLY KNOW THIS, BUT THE

MESSAGE BOARDS AT

bodybuilding.com ARE AS STRANGE

AS THEY ARE BROAD.

COMEDIANS, WE WILL GIVE YOU THE

TITLES OF TWO bodybuilding.com

MESSAGE BOARD THREADS AND YOU

HAVE TO GUESS WHICH ONE IS REAL.

SO HERE'S THE FIRST ONE:

HOW CAN I CONTACT A

HONEST-TO-GOD NINJA?

OR: HAD A WEIRD DREAM ABOUT

GEORGE COSTANZA LAST NIGHT.

SERIOUS.

KURT.

>> HAD A WEIRD DREAM ABOUT

GEORGE COSTANZA LAST NIGHT.

>> I BELIEVE THAT IS THE CORRECT

ANSWER: HAD A WEIRD DREAM ABOUT

GEORGE COSTANZA LAST NIGHT.

(LAUGHTER)

LET ME JUST READ YOU A PASSAGE.

LET ME JUST READ YOU A PASSAGE.

GEORGE IS NOW MAD AS (BLEEP) AND

HE GOT HIS HANDS ON ME AND I TRY

TO PUSH HIM AWAY, BUT I CAN'T,

DUDE IS LIKE HULK STRONG.

HE PUSHES ME, PRETTY MUCH LIFTS

ME UP AND THROWS ME ON THE

TABLE.

I'M SURPRISED AS (BLEEP) BY HIS

HUGE POWER.

>> "WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH ANAL

SEX?"

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH

IT?

>> I LOVE THE IDEA THAT SEINFELD

COMES IN AND SEES THIS.

OH, I CAN MAKE SOME

OBSERVATIONAL HUMOR ABOUT THIS.

(LAUGHTER)

>> YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE

WHAT'S HAPPENED, JERRY!

(SCREAMS)

(BLEEP)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Chris: JERICHO--

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

ALL RIGHT, KURT GOT POINTS FOR

THAT.

NOW, I'LL GIVE CHRIS 100 POINTS

FOR JERICHO KRAMER.

NEXT ONE, NEXT ONE: MY FARTS

ARE LITERALLY OUT OF CONTROL,

BRAHS, DEAD SERIOUS.

OR: WHAT KIND OF FISH WOULD BE

CLOSEST IN TEXTURE TO MERMAID

MEAT?

JERICHO.

>> I'M GOING TO SAY WHAT KIND OF

FISH WOULD BE CLOSEST IN TEXTURE

TO MERMAID MEAT.

>> Chris: LET'S FIND OUT.

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS:

MY FARTS ARE LITERALLY

OUT OF CONTROL, BRAHS.

DEAD SERIOUS.

IT'S THE EGG WHITES, BRAH.

SERIOUSLY, THEY MAKE MINE SMELL

LIKE SULFUR AND GENOCIDE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> I LIKE THAT THEY ARE

CONSTANTLY REMINDING EVERYONE

THAT THEY'RE SERIOUS.

LIKE THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY

OR INTERESTING ABOUT THIS.

LIKE, NO, SERIOUS, BRAH.

>> OR LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION,

IS IT MY FARTS ARE LITERALLY OUT

OF CONTROL, BRAHS, DEAD SENIORS.

HIS FARTS ARE SO BAD THEY

ACTUALLY KILLED OLD PEOPLE.

>> Chris: OLD PEOPLE DON'T HAVE

THE ABILITY TO--

>> MY FARTS OUT OF CONTROL, DEAD

SENIORS EVERYWHERE.

IF YOU WANT GENOCIDE, I'M GOING

TO GIVE THEM TO YOU, TO THE DEAD

SENIORS.

>> Chris: OH, NO, HE'S COMING

THIS WAY!

NEXT ONE.

"PENIS DOES NOT FIT."

AND THEN THAT'S IT.

PENIS DOES NOT FIT.

OR THE WONDER YE ARS FINALLY

COMING TO DVD.

KURT.

>> PENIS DOES NOT FIT.

JUST BECAUSE A MAN CAN DREAM.

>> Chris: LET'S FIND OUT.

PENIS DOES NOT FIT!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

AND THE WONDER YEARS FINALLY

COMING TO DVD.

♪ WHAT WOULD YOU DO

IF MY PENIS WAS BIG? ♪

>> WHO SINGS THAT SONG?

>> Chris: JOE COCKER.

POINTS!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

JERICHO, POINTS.

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