People always ask me why I dothe rooms I do.
I do the rooms I dobecause they'll have me.
I don't get asked to dogay shows because I'm honest
about the fact that I don'tunderstand everything
other gay people do, either.
Like, not too long ago,I was at a gay pride parade.
There were different pointswhen I was watching the parade
where I remember thinkingto myself,
"This is really gay.
"Can we take it down a notch,please?
I'm getting uncomfortable."
Before I get out of here,I will sincerely thank
everybody in this room.
I do appreciate you allbeing so nice to me.
I appreciate youputting up with me.
Uh, I know I can bekind of hard to relate to.
I know I have troublerelating to people.
I know this,'cause I even have trouble
relating to my own friends.
See, because all of my friendsare straight and dating,
and I'm gay and I cruise.
Yeah, so sometimes our storiesdon't really match up.
Like, just today, my friendChris called me.
He was like, "I ended up takingthat girl out on a date
the other night, bro."
And I was like,"I sucked a dude's (bleep)
in a bush last night."
Yeah, I notice sometimeswhen I do that joke,
the straight guysin the audience get
And I never understand that,'cause it's not like I'm going
to be hiding in a (bleep) bushafter the show.
Nobody's goingto walk outside and hear,
"Psst, I'm over here."