I went to your gym.
This is what I like aboutevery gym all over the country--
I live in LA-- every gym,
the water fountainsituation, always the same.
There's always onewater fountain everybody uses.
Then there's one, like,three feet below it
right next to it,no one touches.
Who is it for?
What little midgettreasure troll is at your gym?
I don't know what it was.
I thought it was bidet.
I started washing my ass out.
And they took my membership.
It would have been cool, butthe troll was getting a drink.
I am Jewish,my girlfriend's not.
She did buy me eight presentsfor Hanukkah, though.
I was, like, "Why did you buy meeight presents for Hanukkah?"
And she was, like,"Eight presents
for the eight nightsof Hanukkah."
I was, like, "You idiot.
There's 32 nights of Hanukkah."
(laughterand scattered applause)
"And I like electronics.Now go to the mall.
Religious minimum--50 bucks a gift."
I wrote it all down inthe Jewish bible I gave to her.
She doesn't knowwhat the hell goes on.
She's, like,"You need sex twice a day?"
And I'm like,"Fricking Moses, let's go."
It's got to happen.