Whitney Cummings - Being a Female Is Frustrating

Whitney Cummings: I Love You Season 1, Ep 101 06/28/2014 Views: 15,552

Whitney Cummings just wants men to understand all of the annoying maintenance that goes into being a woman. (2:27)

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That's crazy, you know. But Ithink there are a lot of things

that contribute to us beinga little irritable, you know?

I think that part ofgirls being crazy

is the fact that being a femaleis just so frustrating.

Like, there's so much workwe have to do,

there's so much maintenancethat goes into it,

and most of what we dois to make you guys think

we're attractive,so we're resentful, you know?

I feel like by 9 AMwe already hate you.

Okay? Because of all this shitwe have to do from 8 to 9 AM

to make you thinkwe're ( bleep ) pretty.

Like, do you know the kindof shit that goes on

in her bathroom, sir?

You don't know.You're wearing shorts.

And what are those--are those Crocs?

Oh, my God, white peopleare so embarrassing.

Unbelievable!

And she-- you don't understandthe kind of stuff

that goes onin the bathroom.

She's working hard and you'rewearing...your pajamas.

This is unbelievable.

Do you realizethe things that we do?

We spray aerosol.

We inhale aerosol every day.

Okay?Then we put on makeup

which is just chemicalsand poison...

then we put on perfumewhich is pure alcohol.

It's not that we bitchy--we're just high...

most of the time.

Bitches are justlit up everywhere.

Have you ever seen a girlput on perfume?

She's like eh, eh, eh--( INHALES )

Ah-h-h.

Okay, let's go.Where we going?

The torture we putourselves through--

it's just annoying,you know?

So much suffering.

There's so much pain involvedin being a girl, you know?

I don't think women are weak.I think women are too strong,

because we just endure it.

We just take itand don't complain about it.

But I do think that itmanifests in other ways.

Like, next timeyou're talking to a girl

and you think she's actinglike shitty or unreasonable,

just remember,she's got a polyester string

in her asshole.

Yeah, she's probablya little stressed out, okay?

We're all a little on edge,and I think that's probably why.

A guy will be likewhat's up your ass?

I'm like uh-h-h.

I can tell you right now,

it's a polyester stringI paid $35 for.

That I can't even putin the ( bleep ) dryer.

Do you have a question?