John Mulaney - Antique Photographs

John Mulaney: New in Town Season 1, Ep 101 01/28/2012 Views: 23,852

John Mulaney learned that having a side room off of a bedroom is never a good thing. (1:56)

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ON MONDAY, I WENT TO SCHOOL.

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE DIDBACK THEN.

AND I'M WALKINGINTO THE SCHOOL BUILDING

AND WHO DO I SEEBUT JAKE MCNAMARA.

AND HE SAYS TO ME

"HEY, WERE YOU AT MY PARTYON SATURDAY?"

AND I SAID "NO."YOU KNOW, LIKE A LIAR.

AND HE SAID"THINGS GOT REALLY OUTTA HAND.

"SOMEONE BROKE THE POOL TABLE.

"SOMEONE TOOK A SHITON MY DAD'S COMPUTER.

BUT THE WORST THING"HE SAYS--

"THE WORST THING IS THATSOMEONE STOLE THESE OLD

"ANTIQUE PHOTOSOF MY GRANDMOTHER

AND MY PARENTS AREFREAKING OUT ABOUT IT."

AND I HAD THAT THOUGHT

THAT ONLY BLACKOUT DRUNKSAND STEVE URKEL CAN HAVE.

DID I DO THAT?

I FIGURED NO,I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.

BUT I WAS NEVER SURE,UNTIL TWO YEARS LATER--

RELAX.

I'M PLAYING VIDEO GAMESWITH THIS KID NAMED ALEX

THAT WE ALSO WENTTO HIGH SCHOOL WITH.

TWO YEARS LATER,WE'VE GRADUATED BY NOW.

WE'RE PLAYING VIDEO GAMESFOR A COUPLE HOURS,

AND THEN ALEX SAYS TO ME,"HEY, COME HERE.

I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING."

AND HE TAKES MEINTO HIS BEDROOM

AND THEN HE TAKES MEINTO A SIDE ROOM

OFF OF HIS BEDROOM.

NEVER A GOOD THINGTO HAVE.

HE SHOWS ME A TINY ROOMTHAT IS COVERED WALL TO WALL

IN STOLEN ANTIQUE PHOTOSFROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE'S PARTIES

OVER THE YEARS.

AND I SAID "WHY?

WHY DO YOU DO THIS?"

AND ALEX SAID